To say Rudy Giuliani is having a tough month would be understating things.
Ignoring the adage of not kicking a man while he’s down, Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen took the opportunity to lay into Giuliani on Twitter – mocking him for breaking wind during public testimony last week.
Responding to a query as to who served as a better fixer to Trump, Cohen, now a vocal critic of the president, crowed: “The only thing Rudy Giuliani needs to fix is the skidmark he left on his underpants after he let one rip!”
For the record, Giuliani has let it be publicly known that he is “getting great care” and “recovering quickly” after being admitted to Georgetown University Medical Centre in Washington DC.
The 76-year-old, who has been spearheading the president’s fantastically unsuccessful effort to contest the election, had been testifying that he believed the vote count was flawed and that president-elect Joe Biden had not won the state of Michigan when his bodily function was unfortunately picked up on microphone.
It was the farty cherry on an extremely crappy cake for Giuliani who had once gained acclaim as mayor of New York for steering the city through the September 11 attacks and aftermath.
His meteoric fall from grace has been nothing short of spectacular.
In October, Giuliani was unwittingly caught in what appeared to be a compromising position in British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film, a sequel to the 2006 Borat movie.
In the film he is shown in a hotel room with Borat’s teenage daughter Tutar, played by actress Maria Bakalova, who is posing as a TV journalist and helps Mr Giuliani take off his microphone.
He then lies back on the bed and appears to have his hands in his trousers, before Baron Cohen, dressed in lingerie, bursts in and says: “She’s 15, she’s too old for you, she’s my daughter.”
Giuliani defended his honour on twitter, insisting he was tucking his shirt in, and somehow linking the incident to his bid to expose “the criminality and depravity of Joe Biden and his family”.
Days later, Giuliani was derided for accidentally staging a press conference in the parking lot of Philadelphia’s Four Seasons Total Landscaping – a business located between a sex shop and a crematorium, and a far cry from the luxury hotel where Trump had tweeted that the event was meant to be held.
Giuliani’s public humiliation was not complete, though.
There was more to come when he delivered a news conference about alleged election fraud – while dark liquid oozed from his sideburns and down both sides of his face.
The spectacle prompted Daily Show host Trevor Noah to muse publicly: “Was his brain shitting itself? You know your legal strategy is fucked up when even your hair starts crying about it.”
The New York Times dug deep on the matter and, with the input of several hair stylists, concluded Giuliani had either invested in an extremely cheap hair dye, or had ill-advisedly applied mascara to his grey spots.