Let us set the scene: you walk into your kitchen and there it ... that perfectly ripe avocado.
FINALLY! IT IS READY! Your days of patiently waiting to eat this little wonder has arrived. How will you celebrate this tremendous event? With an Instagram flatlay, of course!
You throw the gluten-free toast from your local bakery into the toaster, grab the sunflower sprouts and radishes out of the fridge and place your plate gently into the sunlight to get your hands on the best lighting for this 'gram that is sure to get over 100 likes.
Now for the moment you've been waiting for: the slicing of the avo.
With that sharp knife in hand, you slice the avocado, and OMG YOUR HAND STARTS BLEEDING.
Yup, you are the latest victim of "avocado hand."
As the "guacalypse" inches closer and the popularity of avocado toast surges, so too does the number of people visiting emergency rooms with avocado-related injuries. And this has worried the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons so much that they're calling for safety labels to be put on the fruit in an effort to reduce the number of people who are cutting the inside of their hands.
“People do not anticipate that the avocados they buy can be very ripe and there is minimal understanding of how to handle them,” plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times. “We don’t want to put people off the fruit, but I think warning labels are an effective way of dealing with this."
"It needs to be recognizable. Perhaps we could have a cartoon picture of an avocado with a knife, and a big red cross going through it?”
It sounds like a weird idea, but to our shock and horror, Eccles also added that he treats approximately four people a week for avocado hand.
"I had to go to the [emergency room] and get three stitches and I have lost most of the sensation in my finger," Freya Watson, a TV producer in London, told Munchies of her experience with avocado hand. "And when I was in the [emergency room], there was a woman with the exact same injury."
This takes us right back to when bagels first started getting trendy. Remember when everyone was slicing their hands on those delightful circles of carbs, too? Why do the things we love most hurt us?
So, how does one properly cut an avocado? We can only trust one person to help us through this worldwide crisis, and it's Martha Stewart.
On the "Today" Show, the legendary homemaker walked everyone through the steps. It's all about getting a damp cloth, holding your precious avocado tight, using a small knife (NOT a chef's knife). She cut the fruit in half around the pit and twisted apart the halves.
Now here is the important part: Stewart says don't whack at the pit to dislodge it — instead, put the avocado half back in the damp cloth and gently put the knife into the pit and twist it out.
Simple and efficient.
If you have fallen victim to avocado hand, don't worry, you're not alone. Meryl "overrated actress" Streep was one of the first known cases of avocado hand back in 2012 when she sliced her hand cutting the fruit.
Meanwhile, it seems like avocados just can't catch a break. Besides sending people to the hospital, millionaires are unfairly saying they're the reason why millennials can't afford houses.
"When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn't buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each," Australian millionaire and property mogul Tim Gurner told the Australian news show 60 Minutes.
Um, can millennials not enjoy their brunch in peace? Geez.
As for us, we'll continue to risk injury and eat avocados. And they will continue to be delicious.
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