I am growing older.
But that is not so bad
Because I have loved.
Not always wisely
And certainly,
Not always well.
When I consider my age
and the way I have spent the years,
I have some regrets:
Things done
And things undone.
But I have no regrets about the loving.
I remember every love
And there is not one that I would erase.
What regrets I feel about love
Center on the moments missed
Either because Fate
Chose to part us
Or because we had not yet met.
I regret every night
Not spent in love's arms,
Every morning
That found me waking far from your reach.
I regret every beautiful sight
Not shared
And every funny moment
that brought only solitary laughter.
I regret every illness
I did not tend,
Every sorrow
I did not comfort,
Every jacket
I could not brush,
Every tie
I could not approve.
I regret every second
That was not made richer by your presence.
Yes, I regret the moments missed
When distance, time, or circumstance
Separated us.
But, even more, I regret
The moments missed when we were together.
How I wish I could rework them!
The nights
That saw me too tired to respond;
The confidences I was too impatient to encourage;
The sympathy I was too self-centered to feel;
The flash of temper that stopped you short.
I regret
That I did not realize sooner
How fleeting life is.
Had I known that
I would never have let
A day pass
Without saying
I love you.
Joan Sutton's essays on Alzheimer's, caregiving, and becoming a widow are now available in a book, The Alzheimer's Diary.