When we explicitly teach boundaries, we not only help children learn how to stay safe but we help children avoid becoming victimizers.
The people who use emotional blackmail are doing so because it works. They rely on our negative emotions where we turn off our logic. People who use emotional blackmail are also adept at punishing you if you try and play their game.
For parents, the healthy relationship boundaries talk is a topic that can be revisited many times during the teen years. They need to understand what it means to have boundaries. Take the time with your teen to explain emotional and physical personal space, dealing with privacy, and what to do when someone crosses a boundary.
Our egos, especially when we are feeling insecure in a new undertaking, can sabotage us. This can be exhausting if we are unaware that we are reacting to fear. Stepping back and taking stock of why we are reacting is a healthy first step. Then we need to implement some leadership habits.
Here's the deal: we can't make everybody happy. Sometimes conversations we need to have will make other people unhappy. Sometimes we will not be able to make them feel heard in the time allotted.
When we give so much to those around us without first giving to ourselves, we run the risk of hurting them more than we're helping. All of us need to feel our own resilience -- it's an important human need. When we decide to give more than is healthy, we often take those feelings of resiliency away from others.
Learning when to say "no" can be the greatest gift in your life. Because when you say "yes" to people or projects in order
I run my business with house rules and boundaries in place, and I made the error of bending many of those policies to accommodate one person. Unfortunately, it resulted in them assuming all of our rules and agreements held no ground.
Lately, my schedule has had a huge to-do list every day. I move from one task to the next with barely time to plan ahead. I thought I'd share three slightly embarrassing wake up calls that made me realize that it's time to slow down and do things differently.
The word "selfish" has a bad rap. I get it. Being "concerned chiefly or only with yourself" seems like kind of an asshole move, but is that always the case? I don't think so. The "Screw you, suckers!" variety of selfishness deserves its critics, but what about the kind of selfishness that simply means you're putting yourself first?
Having worked in mental health, I've seen the other kinds of scars. Unfortunately, I've also been victim to them myself. Years ago, I worked at a children's charity. The executive director (ED) verbally abused staff. The first time I heard her scream, I thought she was injured and ran into her office. I was shocked when I realized screaming was her way of asking for a file.
You're working your tail off, and yes, you are getting enquiries, invitations to speak at events and so on. But if you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something isn't right -- you don't feel valued or respected, or worse, you feel taken advantage of -- then it's time to set stronger boundaries in your business.
Last night, my husband spoke the three most terrifying words in the English language. "Take a break." I was horrified. My blood ran cold. "But, but..." "No buts about it. Take the day off. Why don't you have some fun?" he suggested, smiling. Fun? Fun!? I drew a blank. And that's when I knew I had a problem.
Some are geographically distant from those they hold dear and raise a solitary glass to absent friends. Others have lost loved ones to the grave. But for many of us, "no contact" is a choice we consciously made. Loneliness is simply less painful than the agony of spending time with our toxic families.
This Christmas, their laser-beam eyes are focused on you. You're the dish of the day. You're gonna be stuffed with advice and ladled with criticism. Because they can't stand themselves. Deep in their souls, they feel like failures. What better antidote than subtly belittling you via the mechanism of meddling.
If you have had one or more serious breakups, your journey to finding your perfect mate will likely require a serious shift. We call this a shift to a "no compromises, no settlements mindset." It incorporates several elements, but we will zero-in on a specific one: your personal "laws."
People on public transit are...umm...weird. They're even weirder when you have a baby with you. I think some people believe babies are like some kind of carte blanche to interact with someone you've never met.
I know, in the internet age, many people think boundaries are passé. This is clear to me when I contemplate people's selfies on social media and their transgressions on Twitter. But I want to reframe the discussion to show that boundaries can be healthy. So let's explore some of the benefits.
As a girl, a wise woman told me my eyes would elicit people's secrets throughout my life. I took her words to heart. From that day forward, I resolved to be a gatekeeper not a gossiper, and in some mystical way, like a magnetic field, her prophecy came true.
Boundaries are breaking down all around us. And this new wave of feminism we're experiencing has impacted many of the boundaries in the world of fashion too; the idea that there are standards of beauty that we must conform to, that being beautiful is a feeling that should be available to only a few privileged few, rather than something every woman should feel, from both inside and out.