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boundaries
When we explicitly teach boundaries, we not only help children learn how to stay safe but we help children avoid becoming victimizers.
The people who use emotional blackmail are doing so because it works. They rely on our negative emotions where we turn off our logic. People who use emotional blackmail are also adept at punishing you if you try and play their game.
For parents, the healthy relationship boundaries talk is a topic that can be revisited many times during the teen years. They need to understand what it means to have boundaries. Take the time with your teen to explain emotional and physical personal space, dealing with privacy, and what to do when someone crosses a boundary.
Our egos, especially when we are feeling insecure in a new undertaking, can sabotage us. This can be exhausting if we are unaware that we are reacting to fear. Stepping back and taking stock of why we are reacting is a healthy first step. Then we need to implement some leadership habits.
Here's the deal: we can't make everybody happy. Sometimes conversations we need to have will make other people unhappy. Sometimes we will not be able to make them feel heard in the time allotted.
When we give so much to those around us without first giving to ourselves, we run the risk of hurting them more than we're helping. All of us need to feel our own resilience -- it's an important human need. When we decide to give more than is healthy, we often take those feelings of resiliency away from others.
I run my business with house rules and boundaries in place, and I made the error of bending many of those policies to accommodate one person. Unfortunately, it resulted in them assuming all of our rules and agreements held no ground.
Lately, my schedule has had a huge to-do list every day. I move from one task to the next with barely time to plan ahead. I thought I'd share three slightly embarrassing wake up calls that made me realize that it's time to slow down and do things differently.
The word "selfish" has a bad rap. I get it. Being "concerned chiefly or only with yourself" seems like kind of an asshole move, but is that always the case? I don't think so. The "Screw you, suckers!" variety of selfishness deserves its critics, but what about the kind of selfishness that simply means you're putting yourself first?
