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couples therapy
Your partner might have had their anxiety long before you came along and you can't try to "fix them". Remember to pay attention to your mental health and well-being. By leading an active lifestyle not only do you feel better but you encourage your partner to stay healthy.
It's so easy to take our partners for granted, especially when we've been together for a while (like my husband and me). Instead, my husband thanks me for my work even if it's on my side of the domestic ledger, and I try to do the same.
Research shows that romance is a powerful and an important ingredient in one's life. In fact, brain scans show that men are activated by romance as strongly as women, indicating that romance applies to BOTH sexes. Surprised? If you are, it's because when it comes to romance, society views women as addicts and men as immune.
You and your partner get into a spectacular fight. And let us guess... it's his fault. Or hers. Definitely not yours. It's never really our fault. Even if we apologize, we may still think our partner provoked us to act that way. If only he listened better. If only she stayed out of it. As couples therapists we see this often.
It's real and raw, and you're going to need tissues.
Like most couples, we have certain labels we've come to own over time. I, for example, am the visionary, the queen of creative chaos. I bring fire, optimism and 10 ideas a minute to each conversation. Meanwhile, Pat is producer, the king of structure. He is organized, dependable, a genius at follow through.
Of course, relationship problems do have to be discussed. But trust me -- if you improve your interactions before you talk about them, you'll spend a lot less time digging up and re-burying cats that should have been laid to rest a long time ago.
There's a lot of talk in the media lately about "conscious uncoupling" but what about conscious coupling? How can you be a couple and still maintain your sense of self? What should you do and what should you look for when coupling up?
We rely on the expression around the eyes with our partners to connect. It tells us if they are feeling safe or happy or worried or threatened. Without this cue we don't know how to respond. We see this in children with autism who have flat muscle tone around the eyes; not only are we unable to understand their social engagement cues, but they are not able to understand ours either.
