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dylan farrow

The 71-year-old actress just welcomed her 10th grandchild.
I don't know what Dylan Farrow's experience has been... I can only imagine how deeply painful it would be to hear other women call him a figure of empowerment after he's spent most of her life shaming and discrediting her, while some of the biggest stars in the world fawn all over him and journalists refuse to ask him tough questions because there's some sort of unspoken moratorium on the topic.
If Hollywood actors and producers turned their backs on the likes of Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Bill Cosby and Terry Richardson it would send a strong message of support to victims. And for many victims who know that the prospect of a criminal conviction is faint at best, seeing their alleged abuser publicly shamed or ostracized is the only morsel of justice they will ever be served.
It's normal that we don't want to believe the absolute worst about ourselves, but until we come to terms with how we create and participate in what we are, we can't possibly expect to correct any injustices.
Do not treat the victim as if they are a person with agency and thoughts and feelings. Tell yourself that it's rational and logical to want to know all sides of the story, though you never want to know the other side, the perpetrator's side, when your house is broken into or your wallet is stolen or your child is hit by a car. Tell yourself that we can never know for sure what happened and since a man's life can be destroyed by accusations of rape, it's best to err on the side of caution. Do not think about the girl whose life was destroyed when she was seven. Above all, never, ever, ever think about the ways that you might be complicit in this.