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grief and loss

"Dealing with the loss of a spouse ― especially with kids ― really turns the world upside down.”
Times of family celebration can stir up grief.
Children have the innate ability to grieve openly and may do so with a greater amount of strength than their adult counterparts.
My bookshelves were heaving with the weight of a ton of new business books on operations, marketing, hiring, and relationship management. When I wasn't teaching or taking care of my mom I was preparing the business and hiring documents and researching ways to automate the scheduling, reporting, and invoicing. Preparing for day-to-day operations will keep a business running, but to prepare it for liftoff, long term planning is key.
It's exhausting having to constantly point out privilege, what it is, how it operates and how it's insidious and thus extremely hard to see or understand when you have so much of it; which is precisely why even those feminists with the best intentions can get caught up defending their own story instead of listening to the stories of those more oppressed. 
When someone we love dies, we experience many different emotions, such as sadness, anger, shock, guilt or helplessness to name just a few. But everyone experiences grief differently. After someone close to you dies, you may have good days and difficult days. And, they can be impossible to predict.
It's been about a week since my mom broke the news that two of my uncles passed away. Yet here I am in my new home, Canada -- a place where I have found true freedom to be my authentic self, but also a long way from a family that I absolutely love and adore.
While everyone else throws back rum and eggnog and busies themselves with holiday shopping, those of us in grief are doing our best just to get through the day. Hearing a holiday song, smelling a familiar scent or walking by a decorated store window can be all it takes for us to come undone. So, what can you do? Well, quite a lot. Below are my suggestions for how I plan to get through -- I hope it's of help to you too.
I am terrified that tens of millions of Americans came out in spades to support a man who is endorsed by the KKK, a known terrorist group. Trump is an admitted sexist, a liar, cheat and alleged rapist. A man(child) with zero political background -- completely and entirely unqualified for any position of stature. He is Hitler 2.0, and he now represents the most powerful country in the world. It is, in a word, devastating.
For loved ones left behind, suicide is not painless. It leaves you holding your heart in your hand, vibrating with emotion and reeling with questions. The ground has given way and you are free-falling through space. Here are seven things you need to know after losing a loved one to suicide; they can help you re-find your feet and piece together your broken heart.
My first husband passed away suddenly at the age of 39 and in 60 seconds, I became a widow with a 12-and-a-half-year-old daughter. I never intended to remarry but time and divine intervention had other plans for me. I remarried. This brought with it a myriad of important things we needed to discuss and consider.
It's hard to imagine there is life beyond your exploded heart. How can you possibly merge back into the cacophony of dailiness and demands when your life has been captured by grief? The hollowness, the memories, the break-downs, the images, the gut-wrenches, the what-ifs have kneed you into a tight, dark corner. You can, and will, get out, but it cannot be rushed. Here's how.
Nothing feels safe. Nothing feels right. And there is the "who-cares-anymore" well of depression. You are in a place you never imagined, much less prepared for: you are in hell. Dealing with this anguish and sorrow is a rocky, uneven road. Eventually, you manage to put one foot in front of the other, even if you have been robotic and numb.
Though assisted death is now officially legal in our fair country, we have yet to formalize a national framework and the debate over the specifics of the regulations seem to omit the most critical voice -- that of the individuals and families who have and continue to be subject to archaic mindsets that deny certain patients the right to end their own life, and control their own destiny. It is imperative we hear these voices -- and so here is mine.
Parenting a child after the loss of a child is a daily struggle. You do your best to cherish every second, because who knows better than you how fleeting it can be? While your head is cherishing away, your heart is heavy with the feeling of abandoning your lost child's memory by being happy.
A friend and I took him for one last walk down to the beach he loved. For an hour, he ran free, met a few other dogs, rolled around in the snow (and on a dead fish), and then let us know he'd had enough. Just before 4 p.m., my husband and I put him in the car for one last ride.
The holidays are a joyful time of celebration and coming together with friends and family. But for families who have lost a loved one, the holidays can be especially difficult. Old memories and traditions offer reminders of loved ones no longer there. Families who have lost babies can find the holidays particularly bittersweet.
It can be really hard to take care of yourself when you or someone you love is sick or in crisis, when you feel like life is spinning out of control. I've been there and I'm hoping that by sharing my experience and what helped me, it might help someone else.
Find ways to honour those you miss. Look at old photos and tell stories of any loved ones you have lost. Honour the expectations that you may have had for relationships, life and even your vision of the season, as they are a part of our story. Let a lost loved one remain alive in you, and be an active part of your experience.