life after divorce
It was something to grieve and also a milestone for moving on
There were times early on in my separation I didn't think I'd last five days on my own.
I went through horribly dark times over 20 years ago. I was victimized but thanks to Pat, I did not become a permanent victim.
Father's Day is joyously anticipated by your children, as it is a day to show their appreciation and love for their dad and stepdad. However, for newly separated or divorced fathers, this day can be one of the most difficult times of the year, especially in the circumstance in which they are unable to see their children.
Life after a divorce can be painful, mostly because ending a relationship with someone you once cared about feels like a loss, and let's face it losses hurt. However, life does go on, and eventually the pain of losing your loved one does go away.
Separation and divorce bring a veritable banquet of reasons to be angry because the circumstances are often unfair. You probably didn't stop caring or stop trying to make it work. Anger grows out of that loss of control, for yourself and your future. This anger is hung on that line of uncertainty that trails back months, maybe years behind you.
Whatever past pitfalls you've experienced on Mother's Day as a biological mom or stepmom, remember that you can change it just by how you choose to think about it. We create our own reality. We all matter in our child(ren)'s life.
I was married to a liar for 25 years. At a very personal level, I have first-hand knowledge of the devastation lying creates in people's lives. I know that liars can be clever, charming, smug, and thoroughly convincing. There is a reason for their lying. In my case it was to hide a very big secret.
I had such an overwhelming response to my last blog post, in which I described my recent trip to Arizona and how having some
If you are over 50, then the days of bar hopping back in the 1960s, 70s or 80s are long gone. Chances are there are few potential suitors warming a bar stool in today's bar scene. But online there are a multitude of dating possibilities. Feeling a bit anxious about taking the step if you are a late blooming dating neophyte is common.
It was a novel suggestion. What would I say to my former spouse if given the opportunity? We haven't spoken in nearly two decades. Twenty five years of marriage is so far behind me now that most of my life has been without him. I grew up after he left, a painful but invigorating process.
One thing I'm realizing about divorce is that it can follow you around like a stray dog. I'm four years post divorce, and
Retirement years mean different things to different retirees. Some want to spend those years playing miniature golf in Florida, others want to fulfill lifelong dreams. Travel, giving back with their expertise, and becoming involved in their community in a significant way are just some possibilities. Life expectations at this stage can be very different from your partner.
We can be steeped in tradition and obligation and feel overwhelmed by the expectations family holidays can bring. There may be that feeling that someone else is driving what we feel is expected of us during a holiday celebration. Could be family, friends or neighbours.
My former spouse had entered out marriage dishonestly. Other than words, there was no "forsaking all others" honoured in our wedding vows. The truth was finally revealed very much later on our 25th wedding anniversary. Were we destined to divorce or were there other factors?
I used to look at my life in terms of decades. How was I going to make my mark with each decade? That was easy until I retired and left me wondering what my 60s would bring as a decade. It had certainly started out brilliantly with my first grandchild being born on my 60th birthday.
Blended families are everywhere, representing nearly 13 per cent of all Canadian households. In the U.S. approximately 40 per cent of adults have a close step-relationship, such as with stepchild or stepparent. The process of bringing two families together, or adding a stepparent, can be extremely complex.
For women this risk nearly tripled, rising from six to 16 per cent.
I used to believe that people don't keep score. It turns out they do. Verbal barbs hurled at you in anger reveal that inside everyone is a scorecard. There must be a part of the brain that files those items away. A disagreement flares and some long forgotten event is thrown up in your face
My sons see many positive changes in me since the divorce twenty years ago. I say I finally grew up. In many ways I was fearful fifty years ago and now I am quite fearless.