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Mommy Wars

Before becoming a mom I didn't even know there were "mom groups." I don't mean the groups you can find on Facebook or at your local community centre. I mean the divide between stay-at-home moms (SAHM) and working moms. This got me thinking...How are my relationships with my working-mom friends? Was it different?
Sometimes we forget, we fail to remember: that even those of us who appear all pulled together and perfect (there is no such human thing) and flawless and complete to the outside viewing world: sometimes we all forget, that as individuals, we still have "moments." Moments when life isn't easy.
I realize now that you're not coming from a place of goodness. You don't like that I'm not complaining, that I'm not struggling, that I'm not suffering. You can't stand the fact that I am actually enjoying my role as a full-time mom.
The interaction of girls towards one another where they are nothing but mean. I'm left wondering why this is something we're found to be okay with. It's not funny. Girls are becoming more and more belligerent towards each other, and for some reason it seems like the world is okay with that. I've been wondering why girls, of any age, are so cruel towards each other.
People often talk about how much they enjoy being pregnant. The image of a smiling pregnant woman rubbing her belly comes to mind. However, I can't tell you how often women come into my office and talk about how they are not enjoying pregnancy; and that this feeling leaves them isolated.
The moment you announce your pregnancy the entire world suddenly feels the urge to share all their tried and tested tips and advice. It doesn't matter that you're an adult and have, presumably, gotten through life so far relying on your own common sense and life skills.
That child who's hit yours one too many times. That child who's made fun of and teased yours. That child who's done a myriad of other disappointing things. Yes, I'm the mother of that child. The one who constantly causes trouble. The one who other parents have deemed a nuisance to be around.
Whether you're more of a bench-warmer, or a helicopter, or a free-ranger, or an anything else, how about we let the labels go and appreciate our complementary styles? Instead of getting annoyed when I see you actively play at the park, with your kids or mine, I'll think how great it is that you're enjoying your day with your lucky child.
We need a gesture. Something like a tip-of-the-hat, a wink, the A-OK, or the Vulcan Salute. Something that communicates, instantly and silently, "You're doing a great job, parent. Keep up the good work. I'm with you." So I came up with something.
Before I had kids, I dreamed about being a stay-at-home mom. I loved the idea of having the whole household under control and making life easy for my husband by rocking the homemaker role. But as it turns out, I am happy in that role about one day per week and otherwise feel totally and utterly stifled.
After six years of writing about hot topics in parenting, I have read many studies, talked to countless experts and quoted hundreds of news stories. During that time, my family has grown a collective six feet, and aged from preschoolers and kids to teens and tweens. And I want to be honest when I tell you that despite the thousands of hours I have spent reading and researching parenting, I still have no idea what the hell I am doing.
Women's bodies have not changed, why is it then that there is a whole industry that awaits this baby before he is even born? My objective in creating and producing a film of this nature has been to bring the voices of the women themselves, these are their stories and their struggles.
I don't judge my friends who work full-time (I'm completely proud and impressed by their success) and I don't judge my friends who don't work at all (I'm amazed by their patience and ability to put their careers on hold). The trouble is that moms feel the need to defend their position (myself included) whenever they feel it's being questioned, and sometimes it gets downright vicious. We've already established that there's no "perfect" solution that works for everyone, so it seems wrong that anyone has to compare themselves to anyone else (and feel guilty or insecure), but we're never going to get past it, it seems.
I usually write about politics, but since I recently became a mom, I have been thinking a lot about all things motherhood, pregnancy and baby-related. Here is a little list of some things I learned about pregnancy and new motherhood.
What's wrong with being moms? What's so awful about this that we feel we need to shout at the world that we are so much more than moms, that we are so much more than everyone else? Fighting fire with fire rarely works and this is yet another case of it. If you were truly proud to be a mom, you wouldn't have to validate your choice on Facebook.
Your child has a new best friend. They can't see enough of each other, and are constantly running back and forth for play dates; sharing secrets and secret handshakes. It's terrific. Except for one thing. You can't stand the kid's mom. So what to do? Try these tips before you reach the end of your relationship rope.