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You are not teaching your young child some philosophical lesson in egalitarianism. What you are actually teaching your child is that even if he or she would prefer to be with you, mommy's desire to be out in the working world (even at a financial loss) is more important.
As I sit here writing this post, coated in the slick, stench of black licorice fennel oil (for breast milk production), I can honestly say I'm more stressed now than before parenthood. And I know I'm not alone in this.
As both a taxpayer and a stay-at-home mother, I am upset with the Trudeaus on so many levels. Not only is the Prime Minister clearly a hypocrite, but the fact that his wife (who seemingly does not hold a full-time job) requires not one, but two nannies is offensive no matter your political stripe.
The phrase "I don't know how you do it!" really grates on my nerves. I know that the speaker means well, but I equally realize that they aren't thinking through the ramifications of what they are saying. "I don't know how you do it" is truly one of the most insulting phrases attached to motherhood.
I don't want to read any more arguments about who has it harder, whose work is "real work," who is contributing more to society, or who is doing a better job ensuring her kids become stable, non-homicidal adults. I'm proposing a new form of Internet literature, where one group of moms singles out another group of moms for a job well done.
The feminists may not like it, dear daughter, but even if I made it to the very top of my profession, even if I drove a fancy company car and went on a slew of business trips, I would feel like an utter failure if any of my kids felt the need to ask me if I loved work more than I loved them.
These Mommy Wars, which have for their purpose to conquer and divide women, rather than unify us in our quest for familial happiness, could instead be a stepping point for women to finally empower each other despite and as a result of great ideological differences.
I'm writing this because I often complain about and worry about my new line of work / not work. I feel like I'm missing out on real life by not punching a clock. That I've perhaps sacrificed my career and will never get it back. I want to remind myself that even if I don't get it back, I haven't been wasting my time here. If anything, I've become a better worker, not a worse one.
What's wrong with being moms? What's so awful about this that we feel we need to shout at the world that we are so much more than moms, that we are so much more than everyone else? Fighting fire with fire rarely works and this is yet another case of it. If you were truly proud to be a mom, you wouldn't have to validate your choice on Facebook.
There is yet another chain message going around the Facebook ranks, this time involving moms. While I understand, and even support, what I feel the author's intended message is, I don't think that a poorly-written and typo-laden chain letter can sum up motherhood. So I'm forced to ask myself -- yet again -- why Facebook is so stupid.