Ladies, if you are into men and have found one who does not belch around you, it's not because his table manners are impeccable. It's because he is unhappy. So crushed and deflated is his spirit that his body can't muster a single burp. No burp, no love, you see.
Ask Rita from Mumbai. She nearly exhausted her vocabulary to describe the consequences of not following up the disappearance of the burp from her life. "Cynical, irritable, boring and complaining about everything," she declares. You may think she is talking about Anupam Kher, but she is actually complaining about her partner. The man complains about everything - from her "cooking to her dressing". By the way, the dressing here is a reference to her wardrobe, not her salads.
There is no valid reason to question her - she is seen clutching lettuce and wearing crochet, both evidence of expertise in cooking and fashion. What could make a man upset with such a fine young woman? The absence of a wonder pill called Stay-On.
And once she "gifted" him the pill, "happiness blossomed again" - in the form of a burp.
"When he relished my cooking with the complimentary burp, I was thrilled," she says.
Wait, hold that barf. She is not done yet.
"I secretly thanked Stay-On," she says in relief.
Yeah, you can take a moment to mourn the death of good taste and common sense.
But let's not get too waylaid by self-respect and instead focus on the important message that the copywriters of this Stay-On print ad has for us. They are saying, women are the real thing. If the ad is anything to go by, they cook, they dress up, they worry about their cooking not being appreciated, they worry about their clothes not being liked, they connect the dots and whoa! They discover why a man has zero self confidence and generally hates life.
The ad can't say the same for men.
No wonder then that an energy pill meant for the consumption of men, with no scientific use to women, is being sold to women, hoping they would purchase the same for the men in their lives. Because, clearly the men in question don't see being overtly critical, whiny or rude as anything out of normal, so it is the women's burden to make them pleasant for themselves - you know, a bit like spraying room freshener for yourself.
Also, men, in dire need of Stay-On, must have no signs of a functioning brain. Not only can't they figure what's wrong with themselves and find cure for it, the way to establish communication with them is through their stomachs, says the ad. Stay-On is a woman's wifi in such a situation.
Women must seize this opportunity right now. They are just a pill away from world domination.
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