Brock Cohen

Freelance writer, humorist, educator

Brock Cohen is a freelance writer, blogger, high school English teacher, avid snowboarder and part-time Socialist who currently resides in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley. Originally from suburban Upstate New York, Brock counts himself among the few Angeleno males without an iPhone app, a Pit Bull, a Prius with a hastily removed Obama bumper sticker, skinny jeans, a fedora, sexy bed hair or an Underarmor lycra half-shirt, and, consequently, resides in a perpetual state of cultural dislocation. Although he mostly despises living in L.A., Brock refuses to ever leave mainly due to the possibility that his new hometown might not offer the MLB Network as part of its basic cable package. Additionally, while he’s never been arrested, Brock is comforted by the fact that, if incarcerated, any one of his more compassionate loved ones would have access to an endless array of 24-hour bail bonds annexes.

Brock labels himself a political liberal but perceives the Democratic Party as the cool, popular friend who “dumps you as soon as someone better comes along – which is 99% of the time.” Still, one of his biggest pet peeves is Democratic politicians, operatives, and advocates who treat the term liberal like T.B. wrapped in Swine Flu encased in a gift box laced with Chlamydia.

To that end, Brock also remains skeptical of individuals claiming to be Independents, as they most often turn out to be Republicans who like Tommy Bahama shirts.

Brock’s biggest turn-ons include: campaign finance reform, moist chunks of chola, socialized medicine, hand sanitizer, the term "all-inclusive," and the gossamer memory of Obama’s first two weeks in office.

His biggest turn offs: Max Baucus, no-bid contracts, rescission, health insurance co-ops, the term “Smart war” being used to justify a dumb war, and the guy at the gym who keeps slamming down his 20-pound dumbbells so as to make them sound heavier.

Brock is currently working on a memoir about his life as an L.A. public high school English teacher. He hopes to complete it before the health care reform bill goes into effect in 2014.