Mark Steinberg

Satirist and aspiring satyrist

Mark Steinberg is unable to hold a job. He has been a ballpark vendor, a valet at a Chicago racetrack, a radio and television news producer, a law firm partner, Counselor to the Legal Adviser of the State Department, Associate Deputy Attorney General in the Clinton Justice Department, Senior Policy Adviser to the International Commission on Missing Persons in the Former Yugoslavia, Deputy General Counsel to the Independent Commission on the Los Angeles Police Department, editorial and research aide to the late Secretary of State Warren Christopher, General Counsel of the Screen Actors Guild, Senior Adviser at the Motion Picture Association of America, and author of supposedly amusing op-ed pieces that have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Miami Herald and USA Today. He is widely believed to have ADD and/or access to performance-degrading drugs. Steinberg spends the lion's share of his time running across the veldt in pursuit of anything slower than he is. As a result, he's down to 53 pounds.