"i love when my cat purrs for no reason. she’s just happy to be here."
"i woof and bark at my dog when he’s woofing and barking at me and i just hope i’m not calling him any dog slurs by accident"
"Normalize talking to your cat like a human."
Today's forecast: treats with a chance of pats.
"I love my little cat i wish he could wear sweatpants or drive a car but it’s okay that he can’t. Like it’s fine"
One of the female dogs had reportedly just given birth to a litter of puppies.
"If I don’t tell my cat he is handsome every time I see him then he might forget"
The Olympic swimmer's canine pal showed impressive prowess in the pool.
"Do you think my dog remembers the guy I was dating for the first few years I had him and if so, do you think my dog thinks I killed him?"
“Have learned many powerful lessons from my cat, such as that you can get whatever you want if you are so f**king annoying.”