"Why did they call it a diaper blowout and not a s**tuation."
Netflix reinstated a transgender software engineer, who critcized Dave Chappelle’s new stand-up special, “The Closer,” and two other employees amid backlash from the LGBTQ community for the comedian’s transphobic jokes.
"Rotisserie chicken wakes up the primal huntress in me."
"Grandmas be like imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings."
"Today's kids will never know how much strength you needed to get the car window down."
"Secret to peaceful parenting is to never tell your child the plans for the day."
"When fleetwood mac said 'don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow' i felt that because i have anxiety."
"My cat is better than any baby I’ve ever seen."
“My dad’s two dogs expelled from dog daycare due to forming a ‘dog gang.’”