The Onion

The Washington governor had a tree-mendous response to an article in The Onion mocking his withdrawal from the presidential race.
"The article is an absolutely disgusting piece that lacks any place in journalism; even in your Onion.”
Writers from some of TV's biggest shows signed their name in solidarity.
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
"I bet this will keep The Onion from hosting New Year's Eve this year."
Please 'punish us with considerable physical force' if we ask for a clarification, jabs the satirical publication.
In an election cycle that seemingly couldn't get any stranger, Donald Trump's campaign took the unusual step of dropping
"Trainers struggling to get Trump into debate starting gate."
This just in from our on-site millennial team: In a non-described, newly gentrified neighborhood in an unspecific up-and-coming city near some relevant body of water, we report that, to what seems to be surprising to zero people: