"Geez, I'm so tired of it. Everywhere I look -- Buy her a dozen roses... Give her that diamond she's always wanted... This year I can't even pay our rent." So complained my client Tony.
"You think you have it bad," said Sandra, "I don't even have anybody special in my life to give something to."
February 14 have you bummed? You're not alone. Statistics suggest that, for a bucketful of reasons, depression levels in the USA are at a peak this month.
What can you do about it?
Change your emotional channel!
Yep, just take your personal remote control and switch your brain from bummed to better.
When I teach my OASIS in the Overwhelm 60-second Strategies, I remind people:
You are the CEO of your own life. Just because your Dad was a glass-half-full guy or your mother was the Queen of Worry, that doesn't mean it's in your DNA. You can choose, every instant, which emotional wiring you want to fire in your own brain. When you feed that wiring, it grows, just as with muscle-building: if you lift weights only with your left arm, those muscles grow. Same deal with anxiety or worry...or with courage.
Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier, acknowledges that single-handedly we may not be able to change the economy or the world chaos, but we can do a lot to change our own situation. He affirms, "Recent findings prove the brain is more flexible than we used to think. With practice, we can change our habits and even our natural disposition."
When Tony realized that he could be his own CEO, he took action. He changed his emotional channel from "I'm down-and-out and broke" to "I'm a good person and I'm resourceful." He decided to skip the presents and instead cook a special supper for his special lady and give her a personal foot massage.
Sandra switched from "I'm lonely and unlovable" to "I'm a loving person and I can reach out." She committed to sending a hand-written letter to a lost-lost relative.
Tony and Sandra both got the essence of this day:
Corazon, coeur, cuore, coração: in the romance languages, they all mean heart. And from that vital life-giving organ comes courage.
The hype around Valentine's weekend have you bummed? Beat the bum rap. Grab your remote. Choose a better emotional channel. Breathe deeply, and let your brain and body go there.
Allow space / time for your unique heart wisdom to flex its muscles. Who knows what your "heart channel" might come up with? ...maybe something big, or something tiny...but always courageous... stand up for something or someone you believe in... take action on something you've dreamt of doing, but never got around to it.
Make it real. See yourself doing it. Feel it. Breathe again to strengthen that wiring. Feed your love, your courage.
Our world is hungry for more than roses and diamonds.