This is a concept that I tell my patients quote often. It is something that is hard to grasp or believe in the midst of a break up, but it could not be truer. Think of the phrase, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." It is the idea that no matter how good, or how painful a role they played, they taught us something, something that will reveal itself to us at some point. This goes hand in hand with the concept of everything happening for a reason. While there may be unpleasant lessons that happen through break-ups, they are lessons nonetheless. We have to be open to the pain and difficulty, to be truly open to what it is we are supposed to gain from an experience. It can be difficult at times, to think in terms of everything happening for a reason, but it can also be helpful. At times when we are going through a particularly difficult time, such as after a split, it can be very comforting to think that there is a purpose to this, and there will be a use for what I am going through this very moment. Here is some sage advice about just this point:
1) "Realize that if a door closed, it's because what was behind it wasn't meant for you."
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
2) "Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON."
-- Albert Schweitzer
3) "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
-- Marilyn Monroe
4) "There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you're the one that will change theirs."
- Angel Flonis Harefa
5) "I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we are not wise enough to see it."
-- Oprah Winfrey
6) "Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."
-- John Mayer
7) "Do you believe that there are no coincidences in life? Everything happens for a reason. Every person we meet have a roll in our life, either it is big or small. Some will hurt, betray and make us cry. Some will teach us lesson, not to change us, but to make us to be a better person."
-- Cynthia Rusli
8) Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. Walter Anderson
9) Miracles happen every day, change your perception of what a miracle is and you'll see them all around you. Jon Bon Jovi
10) Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. Michael Jordan
Just remember that you can survive anything that you set your mind too, and while it may not feel like it at the time, you will survive your break up. You may not be sure the reason, or what is ahead for you, but it might be and can be great. Just take a step back and think about the message. Good things may lay ahead for you.