By: Dan Gentile
The mind of an introvert is like a puzzle that's still in the shrink wrap, so piecing together how they keep themselves fed is more speculation than anything. One thing we do know: somehow these walking and not-talking snowflakes stay satiated.
Obviously there weren't any introverts (emotionally) available to be interviewed for this story, so we've come up with our best guesses as to what they eat. Here are 10 foods that fuel their intense introspection.
Nothing says "no one else is around" quite like a warm, steaming bowl of gruel. And the high fiber makes sure the trains move on time in the ultimate fortress of solitude: the bathroom.
Once an introvert has made the transition to alpha-vert and mastered the art of cooking for one, the fridge becomes a revolving door of Tupperware. Tuesday's broccoli gets combined with Wednesday's leftover salmon and Monday's almost-too-old rice for the type of fully balanced meal that a well-adjusted person would share with another human. Or maybe that introvert just works from home.
It's not a meal and it's not dessert, but a wedge of sharp cheddar after sundown somehow functions as both. And there's no better way to eat precious crumbles than by hunching over the sink -- a posture popularized by the patron saint of introverts, Gollum.
Delivered Chinese food
It is a known fact that Chinese-delivery guys are much less talkative than pizza delivery guys.
One of the primary curses of introversion is a crippling fear of what other people might think of you, and people definitely would judge you for eating a tuna sandwich. It is therefore a succulent pleasure to partake of a sandwich with an unwavering stench that sticks to you like a Snuggie during a Netflix marathon. But who cares? It's just you, your tuna sandwich, and all 18 episodes of Freaks and Geeks.
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