Have you been feeling torn down recently, questioning your life's purpose or wondering what your next steps should be? Are you feeling disconnected from the world around you because it's easier to hang out on autopilot than it is to truly engage with life? Maybe you know you have a lot to be grateful for, but for some reason, only the negative stuff is occupying your mental space.
The truth is, I think we all phase in and out of feeling strong, confident, capable and driven one day and then weak, self-defeating, incapable and totally lost on other days.
I'm certain there are legitimate life factors that contribute to which of these days you wake up to -- but another BIG piece of the puzzle is your self-talk. Actually, it's probably even bigger than your life circumstance. Because the reality is: Life is less about what happens to us and more about how we choose to respond to it.
So here are some loving (including tough-love) mantras to repeat to yourself in order to face the day with more fierce courage and self-acceptance.
1. This experience does not define me
One experience does not define you. It doesn't define who you are, what you are capable of or what your life journey should be. If that experience is a failed first job, a reckless love affair, or a fight you had yesterday with your best friend -- let it go. Choose to learn from it and make peace with it. Grow from it instead. When you let one experience define you, you accept the internal false message that life stops after one mistake. You convince yourself that perfection is necessary at all times; which, it isn't and that would be boring anyway (we will get to that later).
2. I am ENOUGH
Because you are enough, just the way you are. Is there always room for growth and self-exploration? Sure. But deep down in your core, you're already enough. If you need some reminders, check out this article with Elephant Journal, '5 Truths to Remember when you Feel like you are Not Enough.'
3. I will own this day
Wake up in the morning and repeat this to yourself. Reflect on it as you drink your morning cup of coffee. If you were to completely own this day, what would you do? How would you interact with people? What version of you would the world see? Once you've visualized this day, go out and live it. There is no better time than the present.
4. I define my success
You define your success. Plain and simple. Take a second and get honest with yourself. Write down on a piece of paper how you define success. Try not to let this definition be clouded by the expectations of your loved ones or the version of success society promotes. Think about what you consider success. If success is working from home and making way less money but having way more flexibility, write it. If success means 50-hour work weeks to support world travel every year, write it. If success for you is raising wonderful and healthy little babies, write it and own it. Make peace with your version of success and then come back to it when others or your own negative self-talk make you question your journey.
5. I surround myself with positive energy
This one is important. You are who you surround yourself with. If you begin to repeat this more often, maybe the list of people you keep closest to you will change. It might grow or it might become shorter, either one is okay. Maybe you reconnect with those who once brought love and light into your heart. Maybe you let go of the people who bring you down. When those around you are positive and in support of your authentic self, you are more likely to feel happiness and live in alignment with your true authenticity.
6. I'm right where I need to be
Whether you believe the phrase, 'everything happens for a reason,' or not -- there is some validity to seeking meaning in your current circumstances. It allows you to derive a sense of purpose for being in the place you are in. If you choose to look for meaning, it becomes easier to make it through the tough times and find joy in the wonderful times. You might not be exactly where you hoped you would be, but you're here for a reason -- what is it?
7. I will learn from this
When you're trudging through muddy waters, unclear of what comes next -- remind yourself that everything is a learning experience. You will learn from this experience as long as your heart is open to it. Don't choose to face the future by repeating the cycle of your past. When you stop to find a lesson in your circumstances, you allow yourself to reinvent the wheel moving forward. Think to yourself, what is this experience teaching me?
8. My heart is in the right place
If you are consistently dragged down by worries and thoughts of other's perceptions of you, say this to yourself. If you're heart is in the right place, if you're living your life by seeking guidance from your most authentic sense of self -- then that's all that matters. No matter what you do or who you are, people will find something to talk about. Accept what makes you wonderfully and uniquely you, do some good in the world and shut out that inner dialogue convincing you that people are judging you.
9. I'm done striving for perfection
Striving for growth is one thing, but striving for perfection is totally different. Life is messy, people are emotional and dreams are confusing and terrifying. Perfection is nothing but a figment of your imagination. The life you lead might seem imperfect to you -- but as you're wallowing in self-doubt, someone might be watching from the outside wishing they had what you have. We all assume others have it better, especially with social media painting such rose-colored versions of everyone's lives. Seek beauty in the chaos and enjoy the journey. It may not be perfect, but let it be perfect for you.
10. I attract what is right with my soul
If you let yourself believe this, it will happen. The power of positive thinking might seem like a gimmick, but the premise to me is clear. When you are thinking more optimistically, you attract more opportunity into your life. Why? Because you're positively engaging with more people, speaking your truth, owning your dreams and living more fearlessly. When these things come together, you naturally attract new and exciting possibilities because you're living at the edge of your comfort zone.
Let these mantras guide you through the hard times and sustain you through the beautiful times. Write them down. Turn them into love notes. Repeat them when you feel weak and read them when you feel strong. Remember that your life is in your hands. Choose to live more in line with your authentic self and let go of any negative inner dialogue that's stopping you.
Visit Alissa's website to inquire about life + wellness coaching services, read more of her work, and sign-up to download her free e-book, "12 Day Holistic Wellness Jumpstart."