10 Reasons I Like Being Small-Boobed

I'm a very small breasted woman but I live in SoCal, the epicenter of silicone breast implants. I'm clearly the outlier in my health club, which is frequented by women who are in danger of doing a face plant due to the heft of their more-for-your money fake boobs. From my perspective, their slim, tight lower bodies coupled with their sweater-filling enhancements look Barbie dollish. Yet I have to admit that I've seen quite a few men stare at them with their tongues hanging out like a pack of dogs trying to survive the summer heat.

I've never had any desire to supplement my God given attributes with a bag of saltwater. In fact, I've always hated wearing a bra, but considered it part of my corporate litigator uniform, comparable to men putting up with being choked all day by their ties. When I left legal practice, I retired my bras as well.

In my current business as a nutritionist, wellness coach, and personal trainer, I work out every day and eat a very healthy diet. As a side effect of achieving my hard-earned lean body, my breasts have shrunk to the size of man boobs. Think Phil Mickelson. But, you'd have to admit they're quite proportionate to my physique.

My shrunken mammaries don't bother me except when I go shopping for blouses or dresses. Then I wonder what I'm supposed to put in those built-in pouches. I've learned to avoid certain styles because they're premised on the false notion that all women have plenty out front to fill them out. Nonetheless, I'm perfectly content with my bee sting sized breasts. After all, there are a lot of upsides.

Here are ten reasons I like being as flat chested as a fashion model:

1. I save a lot of money on bras.
2. I don't have to wonder about whether my bra straps are showing.
3. Men look me in the eye.
4. I won't find my boobs down at my waist in old age.
5. They don't get in the way of my golf swing.
6. New York construction workers don't bother me.
7. Nothing bounces up and down when I run.
8. I'll never need a re-do.
9. I don't have to worry about developing back pain.
10. There's less breast tissue to decide it wants to go cancerous.