10 Reasons Why Fighting in Relationships Is Toxic

It's a common misconception that every couple fights, so you don't need to work on your problems because you believe you have a normal relationship. The reality is that when you fight, it can be toxic to the relationship and cause resentments to build.
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It's a common misconception that every couple fights, so you don't need to work on your problems because you believe you have a normal relationship. The reality is that when you fight, it can be toxic to the relationship and cause resentments to build. Although the fight may eventually stop, when you're not working through your issues, you're subconsciously holding a grudge against your significant other that can cause you to lose your feelings for them. Here are some reasons why fighting can be so toxic to a relationship:

1. It's Better to be Happy than Right

Most of the fights that occur between couples are when someone wants to be right and prove that the other person is wrong. Whether you're right or wrong in the situation, nobody wins because you're both losing.

2. Being Passive-Aggressive Isn't any Better

When you're constantly dropping hints showing that you're angry at your significant other, you're not doing anything different than initiating an argument. This can actually make someone more upset than when you confront them personally.

3. Keeping Someone Hostage

This happens when someone in the relationship is constantly fighting with the other person, but not doing anything to fix it. You're holding the other person hostage in this situation when they are reliant on you for financial or any other support.

4. Taking Your Emotions out on Them

We all get into a funk or have our own bad days, but this doesn't mean that your significant other should be your punching bag. It can destroy a relationship if every time you have a bad day you take it out on your significant other when they had nothing to do with the reason why you're upset.

5. Getting Jealous

You need to have faith that your significant other only has eyes for you. Whether they take a look at someone else or someone else is checking them out, this is no reason to start a fight. We're all human, so this will happen. You need to remember who they're going home with.

6. Ending a Fight with Possessions

It's never healthy to try to resolve a fight by buying your significant other a gift as an apology. You can buy them all of the jewelry in the world, but if you're constantly starting fights with the person then you're not solving the source of the problem.

7. Attacking the Person

This is who you've committed yourself to and want to be with, so you should make them feel special not terrible. When you get into a fight and attack them for who they are as a person or their physical insecurities, you're no longer fighting other than trying to put the person down.

8. Bringing up the Past

If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you can't hold the person's past against them. We all have things we've done in the past that we're not proud of, but we take those situations and learn how to grow from them. If you're constantly bringing up the person's past, you're bringing up bad memories for them while telling them that you don't trust them as well.

9. Waiting for the Right Time to Explode

A common toxic maneuver that people in relationships use is when they don't start a fight right away, but they hold onto a situation to use it at a later time. Doing this doesn't help anyone. You either discuss the situation right when it happens or get over it.

10. Letting Your Friends get Involved

Don't allow others to get involved in your relationship fights. You don't win just because your friends agree with you. Your fight is between you and your significant other and it should stay that way.

For more than six years Psychotherapist and Life Coach, Dr. Warrick T. Stewart (affectionately known as Dr. Warrick) has been an integral and innovative addition to the counseling, and mental health field. Dr. Warrick is a Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor in both North Carolina and Georgia. He is also a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor and a Diplomate of American Psychotherapy Association.

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