There are many areas of our lives that we could move on from in order to be the best version of ourselves. It could be moving out of our parents’ house, changing to a job that us not “safe,” but rather a challenge, leaving a relationship that has become unhealthy, or doing what it takes to be a role model for your child. Whatever the main reason, or perhaps it is several reasons at once, there are signs that enough is enough, and it is time to move on in life. Here are some of the signs that you have come to a cross-roads in your life, and that it is time to make a change:
1. Your trust is broken time and time again. Whether it is work, family, or your relationship, when your trust is broken over and over, it is time to move on. There are some situations and relationships where too much damage has been done, and there is not hope for trust to be rebuilt. In these cases, it is time to move on.
2. The situation makes you feel badly about yourself. It can be a relationship that is emotionally abusive, or a boss that is always putting you down. If you are in a situation that constantly makes you feel worse about yourself, it is time to leave and find a situation where you are appreciated.
3. The situation has lowered your self-esteem. If you take a good hard look at the situation and realize that over time, the relationships with this place, or this person, has taken away your self-confidence over time, you should realize that it is time to change your situation. Be somewhere, or be with someone who builds you up instead of breaks you down.
4. When you think back, you are unable to think of the last time you were genuinely happy. No relationship or job should make you feel depressed and unhappy. If you are so unhappy that you cannot even remember the last time you were happy, it is time to make some changes. You deserve to be happy.
5. The relationship is not 50:50. You realize that you are the one that is always bending and sacrificing for the relationship. That your partner is never the one to give at all. If it is always their way, and never a compromise that makes each of you happy, it is time to find a relationship where you are treated as an equal.
6. You do not feel like you can openly express your opinion. Whether it is at work or in your relationship, if you feel silenced, and that you are in a situation where your opinion either does not matter, or is not allowed to be expressed, you need to move forward. You should never feel that you do not have a voice, and you should never stay in a situation where you are not allowed to have one.
7. Promises are never followed through on. No matter how many times your boss or your partner makes you a promise to change, or that your role will change, it never does. They never follow through or keep their work. There needs to come a point where enough is enough, and you admit to yourself that nothing is going to change unless you make them change. Make that change leaving and starting new.
8. People want you to change into someone that you are not. If you are asked to go against your values and beliefs, or if the person has no consideration for how much that matters to you, then they do not respect you. Be with someone, or be in a situation where you are allowed to proudly be who you are, and aren’t asked to change what you believe to make them happen.
9. When words never match actions. I used to see this a lot in substance abuse, and used to give this advice. People wanted to be taken back and forgiven after years of lying and inconsistencies. They need to understand that people can only stick it out so long when their words do not match their actions. If you are in a situation like this, there needs to come a point where you move on to a situation where someone is honest and true to you.
10. When the other person is too needy. We all have pasts, and we all have reasons that we are the way we are, but there is a point where it can cross a line. When someone is so needy that they do not trust you, that they alienate you from your friends and family, and that they need you to feel their every need, it becomes a situation that is not healthy for you. You cannot be everything to everyone. Get some time, space, and perspective while they work on themselves.
Hopefully if you find yourself in any of these situations, you can take the action to move on from the situation. Leaving any of these unhealthy situations can only improve upon your life. It takes strength and courage of your convictions, but it will be well worth it in the end.