The end of the school year is here. You can hear kids and teachers rejoicing while many parents grunt and go hide in a corner. Besides the obvious calendar telling us what time of year it is, there are 10 other things that happen to signal that the end of the school year has indeed arrived.
1. The Thought of Buying Teacher Gifts Makes You Cringe. You know it's the right thing to do, but you really don't want to go shopping for teacher gifts. Although you should put some effort into the process and avoid buying another coffee mug, the temptation is too great. You could always go on Pinterest for some super creative ideas, but who has time for that? Coffee mug it is.
2. Your Kids' Homework Is Wrong And You Don't Care. So Billy added instead of subtracted his entire homework. At least he still did math, right? There comes a point in the school year when seven and six equals fourteen and you don't care.
3. Clothes Don't Fit, Oh Well! Your children's toes are rubbing against the edges of the sneakers you bought... in August. Who told them to keep growing anyway? Those yoga pants are looking more like capris. But, aren't yoga capris in these days? The next time your child tells you that his shirt is getting too short just tell him to stop raising his hand in class. This way it won't be so short. Problem solved.
4. Bedtime And Wakeup Is Getting Downright Dreadful. You can't even convince yourself that it's bedtime when it's still light outside at 8 p.m. So how are your kids going to buy into it? Let's not even talk about waking up for school. The whining is unreal! Maybe if they just went to bed when you told them, the mornings wouldn't be so bad. There are days I'd rather watch a Caillou marathon by myself than go through the whole bedtime/wakeup process.
5. You're Running Out of School Snacks. Your fruit snack and Goldfish cracker supply is dangerously low. Instead of replenishing you decide to get creative. Kids can bring cans of cream corn and baked beans for snack, right?
6. You're Sick of Packing Lunches. If you have to make another ham and cheese sandwich, you're going to throw it against the wall. Forget about thinking of different things to pack your child for lunch. Check back in September. At this point packing lunch means making sure they have enough money to buy whatever is being served in the cafeteria. What if they don't like the menu? It's never too early to start teaching those coping skills.
7. You Can't Find the Handle to Your Fridge Because of All the Artwork. The kids are bringing home all of their art projects. Yeah! You're finally getting your Valentine, Easter, and "Holiday" card, all at the same time, in June. What could be better? Now, if you could just get into your fridge.
8. Your Child's Book Bag Has Holes. "Mom, my book bag has a hole in it." So. There's no way that it's going to get fixed. It's just not happening. Anyway, don't think of them as holes. They're easy access pockets for when junior just needs to find a pencil or eraser right away.
9. You Can't Remember a Saturday Morning That Didn't Involve a Coach or Referee. Sure, sports are great for kids. They have fun. You have fun watching them, but there comes a point when you dread Saturday mornings. The morning fights with the shin guards and cleats are no longer bearable. Trying to clone yourself to make it to all of your kids' games gets exhausting. You want to trade them all in in for an endless cup of coffee and a Lifetime movie, or three.
10. Your Child Is Going on a Field Trip Every Other Day. You remember signing the permission slips, but weren't these all supposed to be spaced out? Your child is going more places in two weeks than you've gone in two months. It's all in the name of "learning", I know. Let's admit it, the real learning stopped after April vacation.
Before you can say sunscreen and shorts, the kids will back in school and we get to run the hamster wheel all over again! Here's to some time off from glue sticks, flash cards, and school assemblies!