My last two years in adulthood have been rather hard. Difficult or different than the others, if not hard.
Ever since I left working as a senior assistant editor at India Today, I’ve pretty much been working from home.
It’s great on most days. It’s also lonely sometimes. Truth be told, it’s scary to work on a brand whose success and failure completely depends on you.
Sure, my life does have a fair of socialising but there are days I definately miss JUST a part of a team and not the head of it.
That, in combination, with a difficult relationship (that finally ended) got me anxious and a little low at times.
I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Deepika Padukone spoke about feeling depressed when she was winning every award in Bollywood; my ulma mater and blogger boss Michelle Phan recently came out and explained her absence due to loneliness, well-being and depression.
Having gone through so many ups and lows this year, I thought I’d jot down a few things I learnt.
4 Changes You Should Make With Yourself to get Mentally Strong
1. Stop letting others control your emotions. I am someone who is used to being emotionally dependent on someone else. This could mean that if I’m close to you and you say something that doesn’t sit well with me, my whole day goes for a toss. While I can’t completely change the person I am—I could change that. I consciously try not to let others bother me. This doesn’t mean you’re oblivious to other people’s feelings but that you care about yourself too.
2. Cut the negativity. Being negative is in my DNA. I don’t know how or why but it is. But it has never gotten me anything good. And only after losing a lot of things (and people), I realized that just by thinking negatively, I was sub-consciously responsible for making them happen. The minute I start going down the road—where everything gets dark—I try to think of all the things I’m thankful for. It doesn’t work every time but I’m glad it’s worked sometimes.
3. Recognise the power of thoughts and energies. I was a frequent recipient of backaches. I used to think it’s because of bad posture or sitting on my office chair for long hours. Turns out, it’s also got a lot to do with energy. Every thought, every worry, every idea turns into energy. And when you hold onto emotions, thoughts or bad vibes, it has the potential to turn into aches, knots and even tumors. You owe it to yourself to read a bit more on this and make sure you do what makes you live a healthier life.
4. Learn to forgive and let go. I could hold onto every fight, every argument or every time, someone important has hurt me. And sometimes, I do. I channel all that anger and angst and put it into something constructive (like writing this), but sometimes I do something even better. I let go. It’s not about the being the bigger person or even letting them know you did it. But it’s essential to feel lighter—to let go for your own sake.
6 Changes That I Made In My Lifestyle for my mental well-being
1. Create a support system. Be it a breakup, a crises at work or home, I’ve been lucky enough to have a few people with me. If I’m low on clarity and perspectives, I feel it’s OK to sometimes talk it out with those who really care about you. Make sure you can trust this person and also that you will be able to reciprocate the support. Most of all, these are your decisions and feelings so you have to be the most supportive of yourself.
2. Try bullet journalling. Honestly, with the amount of writing I do as my job, sometimes I don’t feel like journalling. I haven’t maintainted a journal in years and felt I was losing track or perspective. Then I heard of bullet journalling via Pinterest. If I’m feeling too anxious or unable to make a decision I just write down everything on iPhone’s Notes section. Sometimes, I just write good things that have happened to me so that I remember them. It takes two minutes and has been super beneficial to me.
3. Keep a tab on what you eat. Days when I’m feeling bleh—I give into my cravings for junk food—and I wake up feeling worse than before. Well, what’s the point then? And I gained weight for no reason. So I stay away from wafers, chips and more. Figure out what’s not making you feel good or positive and ditch the rest!
4. Declutter and re-organise. Has it ever happened to you that you’re just anxious for no reason? Earlier, I used to keep dwelling on it. Now I just divert my mind by just de-cluttering my desktop, my work table, my dresser, the kitchen cupboards. The lesser the clutter, the clearer and lighter you are.
5. Go for a walk. It’s been scientifically proven that exercise, any kind of exercise helps fight depression and anxiety. Out of all of them (like running, gymming, swimming), walking helps the most with depression and is the easiest to do. So go for it!
6. Take a break. Learn to appreciate the little things that make your day. It could be appreciating how blue the sky is, or how thoughtful your colleague was to bring you your favorite tea. Or just appreciate yourself for NOT choosing the wrong guy. If your Instagram is making you feel worse (instead of feeling connected and inspired), then steer away from it. There’re days when I don’t open it just because I need to be in my own space and appreciate all I have.
Hope you enjoyed my two cents! If you like me talking to you, check out my blog.