- Former Steelers' head coach Bill Cowher, who apparently wants to return to the NFL as the Giants' head coach, must be sticking pins in a voodoo doll of current head coach Tom Coughlin during the Giants' games.
Peyton Manning makes catching a touchdown pass look so effortless that you get the feeling he could pick someone off the cast of The Biggest Loser and turn him into an All-Pro receiver by next weekend.
Drew Brees must put all his receivers names in a hat before each play and pick one out to determine his target for the next play. Trying to predict which Saints' receiver will lead the team in targets each week is as futile as trying to predict what Lady Gaga will wear to the next awards show.
Andy Reid must have an astrologer on the Eagles' payroll telling him whom to start at quarterback. Meanwhile, Kevin Kolb is frantically searching for an astrologer in South Philly who will tell him that all will soon be right again in his world.
Jaguars' head coach Jack Del Rio described quarterback David Garrard's play as "ineffective". That's a bit like Lindsay Lohan describing her rehab program as "ineffective".
Green Bay, when your team has more penalties (18) than points (17), your chances of winning are roughly the same as Ryan Grant's chances of returning this season.
Roy Williams, you've had your token one productive game for the season - you can stop your gloating now.
Randy Moss has figured out a way to bowl over a referee without getting suspended for it. Half the players in the league have probably called him in an attempt to replicate his success.
Bernard Berrian should follow Brett Favre everywhere he goes 24/7 during the Vikings' bye week to make sure his quarterback knows he's still on the team.Sebastian Janikowski had better hope he doesn't find himself alone in a room with Raiders' head coach Tom Cable this week.