Look up the definition of “fog”, and you will see words such as: something that obscures, confuses, bewilders, puzzles, dazes, becomes misty. Ummm…. yep. I could have told you that myself. But, I can’t. I’m in a little fog here and I have no vocabulary. The chemo fog is real. And it’s really, really foggy, misty, confusing, whatever. All of the above. What am I talking about? So, when you go to your chemo infusion, they pump you up with all kinds of premeds; anti-nausea, steroids, etc. Then they hit you with the hard stuff, the “blaster” as I like to call it. It’s a lot of drugs. Drugs that run through your veins that the nurses can only touch the bag of, with a gloved hand. Some serious business. So it’s no wonder that this stuff can make you feel a little, what’s it called again? Foggy. The effects are pretty immediate as depicted below by my scientific picture flow chart…
BEFORE CHEMO
DURING CHEMO
AFTER CHEMO
Then they just send you home. Good luck foggy little cancer patient! As the chemo fog rolls in, sanity slowly rolls out. So, if you find yourself (or possibly can’t find yourself) in a chemo fog for a few days, there are some things you may find yourself doing…
1. You may become very interested in the daily animal activity in your yard. You may name any number of squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits, and begin to really care about how their day is going.
2. You could possibly find yourself ordering 5 desks on Wayfair
3. You could then realize 1 hour after you ordered desks that you only have 4 kids
4. You may get really excited about a sale and order new light fixtures on Wayfair
5. But then you may wonder 2 hours after ordering lights that you have no idea if you chose chrome finish, brushed nickel, hot pink???
6. It is likely you may have absolutely no idea what day it is. Or month. Why are the leaves changing color already? It’s still August. Wait, I think my kids have been in school a few weeks. Is it September? Should I get Halloween decorations out?
7. You will probably become completely obsessed with your soft blankie. You may name your blankie. You may take it to Michigan with you. You may drag it from room to room with you. You may feel like Linus.
***You suddenly remember that Linus sometimes used his blanket as a weapon, a problem solver, and occasionally he just hid from the world beneath it. I think my blankie sounds pretty much perfect.
8. On rainy days, you may find yourself extremely concerned about”Sneaky Pete” the dominant squirrel in your yard. Then find yourself relieved to see him using his fluffy tail as a sort of umbrella as he steals all the other squirrels’ nuts. You become very happy about this and share the news with friends and family. Even texting some pictures.
See! Isn’t he so cute and clever!? He is the smartest, sneakiest little squirrel around. Awwww. I am so proud of him. Wait! Did I just say this all out loud?
9. You might begin to believe that the characters in all your Netflix shows are real and that they might live in your neighborhood. You may get your whole family addicted to the same shows and you all begin texting each other about Netflix character sightings around town. Your brother-in-law may text you that he saw Marty Byrd from Ozark trying to buy the local Chinese restaurant to funnel his drug money. Your sister may tell you she is pretty sure she just saw Danny Rayburn from Bloodline buying cigs at Get Go. You may even consider heading down to Get Go to check on the validity of this sighting.
10. You will definitely feel your fog come and go, and eventually fade away until you feel almost “human”. Sometimes you will feel pretty good. Sometimes you will cry. Sometimes you will do your yoga and take your deep breaths. Sometimes, you won’t do much of anything at all. I think that is called “nothing”. But, your little fog cloud that hovers over you just means there are life-saving drugs pumping through your system. And all fogs lift eventually. Your day will come soon when everything will clear. But, until then, watch your squirrels and your Netflix, stay away from online ordering, and hug your soft blankie.