Being engaged is the most exciting time of your life. The love of your life just proposed and you get to marry him! Yes!!! It's so exciting it's bringing a smile to my face right now. However, planning the wedding isn't quite as exhilarating. There are tons of things to think about that no one tells you. Here's the cold hard truth about wedding planning so you can be prepared.
1. You're going to think about others before you think about yourself.
Yep, it's true. Have you always wanted a dream wedding at a castle in Tuscany? Me too. But, here's a newsflash. Unless your guests are all retired millionaires, that's really, really hard to execute. Wedding planning comes with coordination for all of your guests and believe me, it's not such a walk in the park. A nice bride and groom are considerate of their guests and think about cost effective options when it comes to lodging and travel. So, whether it's your shower, bachelorette party, or wedding venue, you will think about your guests more than you think about yourselves.
2. The MOB can be a pill.
If the MOB (Mother of The Bride) is paying for the wedding, that's incredible. However, that usually comes with some strings attached, which is what I like to call mama drama. When your mom is involved in wedding planning, she's likely to want things her way. Whether it's the color of the flowers, or where the rehearsal dinner is, it's common to butt heads a little bit. Focus on the big picture -- which is that you get to marry the man of your dreams.
3. You're going to fight with your fiancé.
Wedding planning makes everything extra stressful. You're kind of on edge all the time and it isn't so fun. You might not agree on everything, alas a fight or two might happen. It's totally expected and not something to stress out over. As long as you know it might happen, be prepared for it. Remind yourself over (and him!) and over again that arguing doesn't solve anything. Keep calm and talk about your concerns calmly. Communication is super important.
4. Money is going to stress you out.
It's a fact -- money is going to stress you out. When you realize the cost of wedding related things, you might have a little panic attack. Between site fees, taxes, and gratuity alone - it all adds up quite fast. The price of things in the wedding industry could make you fall off your chair. But the goal is to only get married once, so it's worth it, hopefully.
5. You have to think of every single little detail.
You have to plan out every single second of the wedding weekend, from the moment your guests arrive for the rehearsal dinner until the second they leave after the brunch. Speaking from personal experience, trust me, it's a challenge. No one imagines you have to think of a rain plan or what your bridesmaids are going to have for breakfast as they get ready with you on your big day. Logistics require you to be very detail oriented, which I like to call extra stress. Know in advance that you're going to spend at least three months organizing, organizing again, and then organizing some more. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel because then you get to say "I do" in front of your nearest and dearest.
6. There are hidden costs... everywhere.
No one tells you about the hidden costs, so I'm here to give it to you straight. There are hidden costs for literally everything. For example, sales tax for a wedding at the top vineyard in the Hamptons can start at $4,000. That's right -- 4k just for tax. Have you heard of vendor meals? Well, I hadn't either. Some venues charge you for meals per person for each vendor that you have. So, you're paying for your band, officiant, hair and makeup artist, and your photographers to have a delicious dinner. I suggest asking all wending vendors about the hidden costs so you can allocate them into your wedding budget.
7. Your fiancé might be a Groomzilla.
A groomzilla is defined as a demanding and perfectionistic groom. Sound familiar, ladies? If your groom exhibits any groomzilla qualities, it's not the end of the world. Don't fret about it, because it's really not a big deal. He can't wait to marry you and wants your special day to be just as perfect as you do.
8. You may not have money for everything you want.
The Notorious B.IG. said more money, more problems, and this doesn't apply here. Most people don't have an unlimited budget. That would be nice, but it isn't practical. So, you may not have the budget for everything you've always wanted -- and that's totally fine. Focus on the details that people remember. Sure, a flower wall sounds great. Are 10 passed h'or d'oeurves better than 5? I think so. But are they a necessity? Of course not. Spend your money wisely and on the things that you two as a couple will remember.
9. Your single friends may not be supportive
Single women are known to be less supportive than married women. It's unfortunate, but it's almost always true. Your single friends may not be over the moon that you're engaged and they're not. But, you can't let it get you down. You're marrying Mr. Right and that's beyond remarkable. Everyone doesn't need to be jumping for joy that you're getting married.
10. Everyone will have an opinion.
The more people you tell about your wedding, the more likely they are to have an opinion. Everyone thinks they know what's best and they want to overload you with information. Keep in mind that it's not their day. The details for the big day are up to you and your groom.
11. You will have at least one bridezilla moment.
Don't stand on ceremony and wait for it. I promise, you will have a bridezilla moment. It might be for a day, or it could last a tad bit longer -- but it will occur. You will be convinced that something absurdly nutty is a basic wedding essential. It's common, and it happens to most brides. You need something to laugh about so shrug it off when it happens.
12. Your favorite vendor might be booked.
Wedding planners, photographers, bands, and hair and makeup artists get booked up at least a year in advance. If you're getting married in peak wedding season (June through September), there's a high probability that your favorite vendor might be booked. The wedding industry is filled with talented people. If your first choice is booked, don't fret, the second and third choice options are just as fabulous!
Now that you know all the drama that occurs with wedding planning, be prepared for it. Make sure to find some quality time for you and your fiancé. Happy engagement!