THE BLOG

10 Tips to Influence Your Inner Circle

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By now you've probably created your life blueprint for 2016. At the least you've (more than likely) selected a few goals to be accomplished. Staying on this success pathway will definitely have its challenges, especially if your goals are lofty. However, you can do it. If you have the potential and are committed, you will succeed.

We all have a small inner circle of co-workers, teammates, family and friends. This support group is crucial for your success. Identify them now. See them in your mind. Who needs a positive helping hand?

As you actively pursue your personal 2016 vision and goals, your inner circle will notice your efforts. They will see the changes made. Some will raise their eyebrows in question, while others may be in awe and dismay. Unfortunately, a few will be skeptical and have their doubts.

Select a family member, co-worker or friend that needs a positive boost in all or part of their life? Can you help change them? Will it be easy for you to get them to see your Zone pathway that leads to a simple, balanced and abundant life? Will it be possible for you to have extreme positivity, while the ones you spend an inordinate amount of time have pessimism, fear and worry? That will be a challenge. Not being on the same attitudinal page can be a definite Zone breaker. This is the challenge most peak performers share. It's a big challenge when their spouse, children and or co-workers refuse to venture onto their champion's pathway.

What do Zone performers do when the people
they care about are not on their same page?

Lending a helping hand is an answer. This can be done in small doses or full emersion. Yes...you are going to another level in your life, work or sport. Reach out your hand and offer to take them with you. Either way...you must go, even it's alone!

First, it is crucial to lead by example. No more "Debbie downer" or other victim or judge routines. None. Now that you are solidly on your success pathway reach out to one or more "inner circle" people. Lend a helping hand.

Here are a few suggestions to get your co-workers, family and or friends onboard the Zone train.

1. Compliment, praise or applaud one or more positives in their life, work or sport. Build on their strengths. Avoid accentuating what they don't do well.

2. Take on a life changing habit and ask them to join you and help you. Examples are:
Help me...
a. Avoid the negative past
b. Refrain from swearing or cursing
c. Abstain from discussing the negative news, politics or other subjects.
d. Wake up happy and go to bed happy.
e. Avoid judging others.
f. Abstain from dirty or off-color jokes
g. NOT think, feel or act like a victim (no more self-deprecating putdowns)

3. Select a shared vision or measurable goal together. Plan the strategy and tactics for seeing it through to completion.

4. Seek their advice about something positive (even if you don't really need it). This places them in this positive mindset.

5. Avoid gossip, rumors or hearsay. Avoid the negative past and refuse (politely) to go there with them.

6. Ask great questions about their future. "What will you be doing in 2020?" or "If you could be anything or do anything in the next year, what would it be?" or "What's on your bucket list to be accomplished?"

7. Ask them to join you in a positive activity such as running a 5K race, going skiing, reading a great book, losing weight, joining a gym, spinning or yoga class, to name a few.

8. Share a book, podcast, article or quotation that can inspire, motivate and kick-start positive change.

9. Upgrade your hello and goodbye with them. How are you? "I'm awesome!"

10. Avoid watching the (negative) news together. Especially eliminate watching the news when you awake and just before sleep. Now your conversations have a greater chance of being positive. Meditation, yoga, reading a book, and or visualization are much better morning and before bed activities.

One of the great ways to facilitate positive change in another person's life is to treat them with extreme positivity. See them changed. See him or her as they will be. Find slivers of positivity to leverage. See them being positive in your mind. If your child is performing below average in school, treat him or her as if they are smart (obviously avoid the put-downs).

A great teacher sees an "A" student even
when the student is performing poorly

If a key direct report lacks optimism, treat them as if they can do it (you'll find small nuggets to pull from).

A great coach sees an all-star when others see a
non-confident player that shouldn't be in the game

The one person you want on your quest for excellence is your "significant other." We are all awake but we are not all aware. Maybe you woke up first from your mental haze and decided your lifestyle must change. This new mindset can be contagious, but if can also repel someone that is not ready for change. Change can be fearful. Change requires risk. Not everyone is ready to get out of his or her comfort zone. Baby steps with changing others, especially the person you love and care about.

When one is ready to learn &
change, a teacher will appear

While you reach out a helping hand, make sure you stay the course. Be determined and committed to your 2016 vision and goals, even if your life partner, co-worker, child or friend has another agenda. Do NOT allow negative resistance to impact you. Positivity will eventually rule the day.

For now it's imperative to go to a higher place with or without anyone. Just reach out your hand and let them arrive at their speed and time. If they don't grab on, that's on them.

Know that the Zone is contagious. Start an epidemic of epic proportion. It might be time to give a helping hand.

Get your inner circle in the Zone!