I’ve been doing this “Mom” thing now for just over three years and while I do not purport to be an expert, I have learned a thing or two along the way. Here’s a list I’ve compiled of how you can tell you are a Mom, especially a Mom to a 3 year old little boy.
10 Ways You Can Tell You Are A Mom
1. Your handbag contains at least 3 of the following:
a) a half-eaten granola bar;
b) a pair of underpants that are not yours;
c) more cookie crumbs than an Oreo factory;
d) half a dozen broken crayons; or
e) all of the above.
**other acceptable answers include: a red hot wheel car, a blue hot wheel car, a half-licked lollipop & three apples each with one bite out of it**
2. You own more pairs of yoga pants than you do jeans but haven’t attended a yoga class since 2012.
3. At least one meal a day consists of toast crusts, a ½ eaten cheese string and a handful of grapes, cut into quarters.
4. Dinner is no longer spent eating your own food, but instead, pretending to “steal” vegetables off of someone else’s plate in an attempt to encourage (read: trick) them into eating them.
5. You catch yourself humming a pleasing little tune only to realize its the theme song to Disney’s “Frozen”.
6. You don’t know the name of Drake’s latest single but can confidently name all members of the Paw Patrol.
7. You want to murder Caillou.
8. You sympathize with Peppa Pig’s parents and understand why George is always crying.
9. You drive an extra 5 minutes out of the way to avoid going past the park because you’ve ran out of excuses for why it is “closed” today.
10. You make a silent promise to God that if he reinstates nap time you will use the hour and a half of peace & quiet to empty the dishwasher and fold laundry instead of eating M&Ms while catching up on your DVR recordings.
11) You read this list and can relate to at least half of it!