$10,000,000 to Make Weezer Break Up? It's a Grassroots Campaign!

It may seem incredible in these dour economic times, but it looks like Rivers Cuomo's outfit has struck enough of a chord to incite actual grassroots action.

Unfortunately for Cuomo and his bandmates, it's for his band to break up.

The offer?


All from small dollar donations that would make Howard Dean proud.

James Burns of Seattle band Police Teeth (and Cold Lake) has finally had enough and is using online fundraising website The Point to make his dreams of a Weezer-less universe come true.

Was it the cover art schtick of Hurley that set this campaign over the top?

Seriously? That's what you came up with?

No, it was not.

The creator of Having Fun On Stage With Fugazi breaks it down on the campaign site:

OBJECTIVE We will offer Weezer $10 million to break up.
TERMS If we reach at least $10,000,000, then We get a chance to possibly stop hearing about a sh***y new Weezer album every goddamn year.

I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90's. But this isn't about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.

Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he's changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he's done since "Pinkerton," and what happens? Another pile of crap like "Beverly Hills" or "I'm Your Daddy." This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now. I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year. I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos. I'm sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days. If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought "Pinkerton" pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.

I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear.

Strong words! But for a man who penned a song about "music for people that don't like music" ("Big Hearts, Small Riffs," in 2008's Real Size Monster Series). It really should come as no surprise. When reached for further comment about his motivation Burns said:

I didn't just do this because I don't like the band. There's a lot of bands that I don't like that have new albums coming out that are easy to ignore. However, when Weezer puts out a new album it's nearly impossible to ignore. They're on every blog, every magazine, every music site, all over my Facebook feed, everything! Even the band's staunchest supporters will tell you that the band hasn't been good for the better part of a decade. So why do we keep giving them the time of day? Why have they not gone the way of Dynamite Hack or Better Than Ezra? It is baffling.

Since this writing the campaign, has already been picked up by local Seattle weekly The Stranger, as well as PitchforkMedia (over 2K shares!), The Onion AV Club and NY Times.

It's also earned the response (via Twitter) from Weezer drummer Pat Wilson:

if they can make it 20, we'll do the "deluxe breakup"!

Be careful what you volunteer for Pat. You can join the campaign at the Point, which does not fund until all $10,000,000 is reached, or sound off on your opinion here.

update: Campaign creator James Burns responds to some of the criticism on The Point.

Ladies and gentlemen:
One of the most pervasive criticisms of this campaign is that the money could be used for a better cause.

And after reading many of the comments on The Point site and others, I have decided to do just that.

So IF we raise the Ten Million (and remember, no money changes hands until we do,) and IF Weezer declines the money (because calling them "mediocre" would be generous, and they should just go away, really)
.......wait for it......
wait for it...

I am going to be donating the ten million dollars to RIF (Reading Is Fundamental) programs across the country.

Because for fucksakes, most of y'all's reading comprehension is for shit, and it appears that most of you don't read well enough to appreciate humor.

I might also open a journalism school. Teach some of you copypasta "journalists" how to do something called "fact-checking.

Geez oh pete, you people are insufferable.

As another update death threats (Really? Over a band?!?)

"I've actually received death threats over this, believe it or not," he told the Times. "Some people have told me they wish I would get AIDS. This whole campaign, I fully admit that it's silly." Please chill out, crazy Weezer fans.

For serious dudes, "Memories" is not worth going to prison over, we do still have a 1st amendment in this country.