Divorce

11 Things You Can Stop Telling Single Dads Now, Thank You Very Much

Nope, mom doesn't have "the day off."
12/04/2015 04:35pm ET | Updated March 8, 2016
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When you're a single or divorced dad, everyone and their mother seems to have an opinion on your personal life and parenting skills.

Below, HuffPost bloggers and readers share the most annoying, unsolicited comments they've received over the years.

1. "As a really involved divorced father of three young kids (6,4, and 1) nothing rubs me the wrong way quite as much as when people assume I'm doing my 'wife' a favor. I'll be out grocery shopping or in the park with my gang and some other fella (usually older) appears at my side and says something like, 'Looks like your wife has the day off today!' I never respond rudely or anything; I know certain men (and some women, too) are pre-programmed by outdated ways of looking at parenthood. But still, I grind my teeth hard at times like that. These guys have no idea. Just no idea at all." -- Serge Bielanko, writer at Thunder Pie

2. "The worst was the constant, unsolicited advice about every parenting move I made early on. From what pain meds to use for an ear infection, to how I should heat the water for her bottle, it was like I was the new employee, every single day. The best parts of parenting are the innocent mistakes we make and learn from along the way -- and getting to politely tell others to shove it." - Jon Vaughn, writer at Full-Time Daddy

3. "I raised my son as a single dad and what I truly hated the most was people telling me, 'It’s a shame you couldn’t keep your marriage together.'" -- Ken Solin, author of The Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online

4. ''Are your kids eating all right?' I realize that single moms have a load of sexism to deal with, but there are some single dad stereotypes like this one that actually come from otherwise enlightened friends. They assume that a) the grandest meal a single dad can cook must involve hot dogs, Kraft Mac & Cheese or Pop-Tarts and b) our primary food-providing skill involves having the numbers of at least three pizza delivery places on the refrigerator. For what it’s worth, I love to cook." -- Craig Tomashoff, author of The Can't-idates: Running For President When Nobody Knows Your Name

5. "'Have you started dating again? Because I know this really nice single mom. She reminds me of your ex-wife.' Really? You think I'm looking for someone just like my ex-wife?" -- Chad Stone, author of The Love Magnet Rules: 101 Tips for Meeting, Dating and Keeping a New Love

6. "When I tell folks I'm a divorced stay-at-home dad, people usually smirk or outright chuckle." -- Brandon Regan

7. "A few of my favorite dating comments: 'I would date you if you didn't have full custody of your kids' or 'You have five kids? That would make me Julie Andrews.'" -- Matt Sweetwood, contributor at The Good Men Project

8. "When people find out my 15-year-old son lives with me instead of his mom, they often ask: 'Why doesn't he live with his mother?' This seems to imply that a child should live with his or her mom instead of dad -- as if she is automatically more qualified. I really don't like explaining to people why my son doesn't live with his mom -- it's complicated, personal and a bit intrusive. I wish people instead would say: 'Oh, that's great that your son lives with you. I'll bet you're glad to have him.' That way, I could simply say, 'Thank you.'" -- Ed Housewright, writer at Single Dad House

9. "'Have you introduced your girlfriend to your kids yet?' There seems to be an automatic assumption that dads get divorced because they were either screwing around or thinking of screwing around. So, the second we’re allegedly 'free,' the welcome mat goes right in front of the bedroom door. Introduce my kids to new girlfriends? Hell, early on, I didn’t even know how to introduce myself to new women." -- Craig Tomashoff

10. "I live in the rural South and I can't tell you how many times when I'm out with the kids (even when I was married to their mom), I'll hear things like, 'Oh, is mom busy getting her nails done?' usually with a tone of 'bless your heart' or 'how sweet (and pathetic)'. The assumption was that it was so great that I was willing to keep the kids for an hour, despite my obvious gender-based ineptitude." -- Chris Burcher

11. "When folks see me around with my five kids, they'll say, 'Five children? Wow, your wife must be amazing. How does she do it?' Then I have to tell them she left us when they were little." -- Matt Sweetwood

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