What was the Teacher Thinking?
“Texas Teacher gives most likely to become a terrorist award”, was one of the headlines on my suggested-to-read news articles. This headline immediately caught my attention, for reasons I suspect it has caught the attention of many which has less to do with the topic of terrorism and more to do with the universally relateable experience of having been miss treated by a teacher.
So the story is a teacher at Anthony Aguirre Junior High in Channelview, Tex., near Houston, Texas, handed out mock “Most Likely To....” awards. One award was Most Likely to be a Terrorist. The teacher prefaced the award ceremony by saying, “These might hurt feelings, but you know I don't care about your feelings” and then proceeded to hand out the awards. Other awards included: “Most Likely to be Homeless in Guatemala” and “Most Likely to Cry Over Every Little Thing.”
I read the article and it stayed with me. Did she really say that? What was she thinking? Although, I already had an idea of what she might have been thinking. I didn't want to hear that yet. I still wanted to be angry. They wouldn't disclose her name. Not fair. She needs to be in the stockades for this! I went looking for a blog or something that gave her identity. The effort showed me that every major news source was covering this story. Then for a moment I felt sorry for her. Here I was, a random person in England, reading about this. And somewhere she or he was sitting (or if she's like me: huddled up in a corner crying) as her mistake receives international attention. My anger gave way to empathy; I stopped and shut down my computer.
Still I couldn't stop thinking about it. I don't know the teacher and or the students. I have known some horrible teachers who were mean and I can't imagine why they taught. I remembered a teacher who once said to me, “Don't plan on being a writer. You're not that special.” She was the PE coach and had never read my writing, but still her opinion left a sore spot in me. On the other hand I have known many more decent teachers who have devoted their lives to the calling. Myself, I have worked with teenagers in a residential home for children. It's a chaotic setting and the easiest way to be heard and respected as an adult - thus ensuring more safety and harmony - was to be “one of them”. I imagine it works the same for teachers, this is a skill that some lucky few have, and others, well... not so much.
Teenagers make inappropriate jokes. When I was in Jr. High my best friend called me a bitch. She'd yell it from across campus. “Hey bitch, whasup?”, and I beamed with pride as I knew it announced to everyone I had a friend, one close enough to exhibit such familiarity. And another thing, with teenagers, getting into their club is all about having the confidence to make such remarks. Show no fear, which makes taking those risks necessary. I wonder if these awards were this teacher's attempt at fitting in. Making those inappropriate jokes that teenagers make. But why does it have to be about something as awful as terrorism?
It's because it is so awful and so real and so scary. As humans we make jokes about these dreadful things, so we can keep going. It might be healthier to stop and have our feelings, but often we don't. And it doesn't come from a place of malice or not caring, it comes from a place of needing to survive and get through the day. Freud called it Gallows Humour. It makes sense, if you are in the gallows waiting for your execution how do you manage those last hours? Laughing is probably the best thing you can do in that moment. She may have also been making sarcastic reference to how we discriminate based on statistical information like race or gender. She didn't have to go there, but I think I understand why she did.
The truth is I don't know what happened in that room. Or what that teacher was thinking. I don't know the students involved. I can say that someone who doesn't want to build the self-esteem of students shouldn't be working with them. I suspect that's not the case here. Personally I'm trying, in the time of the internet, which is like living in the time of the stockades, to be more tolerant. I'll admit that's not always my natural default and this story really triggered something in me as I'm sure it will for many.
It's great to be living in a time where we can have the power to report abuse of authority. We all have phones, which all have cameras, we all have the internet, so we all have power. We can all be writers. We are all that special. It's great, but with that power comes a responsibility to take a step back, reserve judgement, and give others the benefit of our doubt and tolerance when possible.
Katherine Uher’s new book Disappearing Girl, a memoir about growing up with undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome, is available on Amazon from June 20th.