COLLEGE

13 Things You Don't Need in Your Dorm Room

You'll thank us later.

Go home, college freshman in the endless line wrapped around The Container Store. You don’t need a "hanging sweater bag" or a "bungee chair." What do those even do?

Before you pack your mom’s minivan full of dry erase boards and overpriced Bed, Bath & Beyond products, scratch these things off your list. You'll thank us when you're enjoying dining hall soft-serve while all the other suckers are still dragging boxes up seven flights of stairs. 

  • 1 Printer
    It will run out of ink, which you won't replace for two months, and then it will break because that's what printers do and yo
    It will run out of ink, which you won't replace for two months, and then it will break because that's what printers do and you'll have to use the library printer anyway.
  • 2 Television
    I know, I know, it's SAD. But this will take up space in your room and also lure you into lying complacently in bed for hours
    I know, I know, it's SAD. But this will take up space in your room and also lure you into lying complacently in bed for hours, re-watching the entirety of "Friends" instead of making real friends. You're probably going to watch everything on your laptop anyway.
  • 3 Furniture of any kind
    "This will be so awesome when my friends come over to hang out in my room!" Oh, young freshman. Your dorm room will neve
    "This will be so awesome when my friends come over to hang out in my room!" Oh, young freshman. Your dorm room will never, ever be big enough for a couch or coffee table or bean bag chair unless you're Rory from Gilmore Girls. Let the dream die.
  • 4 Your turtle
    I know you love him. I understand. This is going to be hard for the two of you, but you have to rip off the Band-Aid. College
    I know you love him. I understand. This is going to be hard for the two of you, but you have to rip off the Band-Aid. College is about going off on your own to fulfill your destiny and not killing living things when you leave for Thanksgiving break.
  • 5 Laptop lock
    <span><span style="color: #000000;">Dad will insist you need this and then you&rsquo;ll leave it in the bottom of a desk draw
    Dad will insist you need this and then you’ll leave it in the bottom of a desk drawer until May.
  • 6 Icicle lights
    <span><span style="color: #000000;">Only because they&rsquo;ll probably get confiscated by your RA (aka the Grinch Who Stole
    Only because they’ll probably get confiscated by your RA (aka the Grinch Who Stole Christmas) for a fire hazard violation.
  • 7 Iron and ironing board
    <span><span style="color: #000000;">Oh, because you need your game-day t-shirt to be well-pressed. That&rsquo;s fine.</span><
    Oh, because you need your game-day t-shirt to be well-pressed. That’s fine.
  • 8 Bleach
    Unless you're living in an apartment or some kind of sad, clean-it-yourself dorm room, someone is going to scrub your bathroo
    Justin Sullivan via Getty Images
    Unless you're living in an apartment or some kind of sad, clean-it-yourself dorm room, someone is going to scrub your bathroom for you. Which is a college miracle. Cherish this by not even pretending you're going to pick up a sponge and bucket. And you don't need it for laundry, either -- separate your whites from your colors and you're good to go, no bleach necessary.
  • 9 7 million pictures of your high school friends
    Totally bring three or four! But the whole photo album is just going to make you nostalgic. Save some room for new pictures w
    Totally bring three or four! But the whole photo album is just going to make you nostalgic. Save some room for new pictures with your new friends!
  • 10 Fancy, matching bedding
    Hold off on the Anthropologie comforter you've been lusting after. We know Febreeze is the only cleaner you'll be using for t
    Hero Images via Getty Images
    Hold off on the Anthropologie comforter you've been lusting after. We know Febreeze is the only cleaner you'll be using for the next 10 months. Plus, fitted sheets are such a b**** to pull off your lofted bed.
  • 11 Your turtle
    Omg stop put him back you will regret this.
    Omg stop put him back you will regret this.
  • 12 Safe
    <span><span style="color: #000000;">If you can&rsquo;t trust your roommate, tell an RA. You shouldn&rsquo;t have to worry abo
    If you can’t trust your roommate, tell an RA. You shouldn’t have to worry about your valuables in your own room.
  • 13 Binders
    <span><span style="color: #000000;">Just get some folders and a notebook or two. You&rsquo;ll probably walk around with a bun
    Just get some folders and a notebook or two. You’ll probably walk around with a bunch of papers stuffed in your backpack anyway, right?
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