15 Politically Inspired Drinks for a Summer of Hell

15 Politically Inspired Drinks for a Summer of Hell
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Surprise! Much like your twenties, this summer has been an unpredictable mess. Whether it’s Trumpcare, Russia, Ann Coulter’s flying troubles, or everything in between, there’s been plenty to talk (and drink) about. AND WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP PUTTING KELLYANNE CONWAY ON THE AIR?

It’s okay to be concerned, and it’s understandable to be stressed out every now and then, or always, all the time, forever, 24/7.

Luckily, there’s a lot you can do to manage stress: work out, listen to music, get a hobby, become an astronaut, idc. But don’t forget to also have fun and let loose once in a while. Whether you’re hitting a happy hour or pregaming an impeachment, make sure you’re only drinking the best (if you’re into that kind of stuff).

Here are 15 politically inspired drink recipes, perfect regardless of your party occasion or affiliation.

1) Putin and Tonic

A dangerous twist on the Gin and Tonic


2 oz gin

Fresh lime

4 oz tonic water

3 oz toxic masculinity

2) Stephen Miller Lite

Think of it as an advisor to Miller Lite


12 oz Miller Lite

Spend the whole night trying to advise your drunk friends but failing

3) Rum and Comey

Fire your traditional Rum and Coke for this option


2 oz rum

4 oz coke

Write down the conversations you have with everyone at the bar

4) Malt Right Liquor

Here’s a scary alternative to Malt liquor


8 oz Malt liquor

3 oz dress up nice to go to the bar but still be an awful person on the inside

5) Manhattan (and DC)

Because why should you have to choose?


2 oz bourbon

1 maraschino cherry

Dash of orange bitters

Refuse to sleep at your house for months

6) Pina Collusion

You’ll switch teams for this take on the Piña Colada


½ cup diced pineapple

2 oz pineapple juice

1 oz white rum

Text your best friend’s ex

7) Betsy DeVodka

Educate yourself on this highly improved drink


2 oz vodka

3 oz tonic water

Claim you don’t know math and you don’t know how much to pay the bartender

8) Sean Cider

Funny or DIe

Apples to orange-reps


4 oz cider

⅓ cup brown sugar

1 Cinnamon stick

Mispronounce every other word you say, then disappear the rest of the night

9) Mar-a-LaGolden Beer

A very exclusive beverage


12 oz golden beer

Talk about your secrets openly

10) Crown Royal Franken

Laugh at how much better this drink is


1 oz Crown Royal Whisky

1 oz almond liqueur

Change your career path by midnight

11) Cosmopolitics

You can’t help but bring it up during every conversation


2 oz vodka

1 oz cranberry juice

½ oz fresh lime juice

Be stressed out the whole night

12) Caribou Skew

You’ll be biased for this approach to a Caribou Lou


3 oz 151 proof rum

2 oz Malibu coconut rum

5 oz pineapple juice

Leave key parts of stories out the whole night and be misleading

13) Fake Booze

Tell people it’s good even if you don’t like it


Your choice of any non-alcoholic drink

14) Ice Christea

This homage to ice tea is not allowed at the beach


¾ oz gin

¾ oz white rum

¾ oz vodka

Simple syrup

Lemon juice


Only talk in Bruce Springsteen lyrics

15) SamBeea

Sangria specifically for late night


1 bottle red wine

Make that 2 bottles of red wine

Lol ok 3 bottles of red wine

Lemon wedges

Fine, another bottle of red wine


Some brandy

Club soda

Wear a pantsuit

Drink (and vote) responsibly!

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