The BlogHaving A BabyParenting Parents

15 Signs You May Not Be Ready for Kids

You think only surgeons are capable of pulling a craft fuzzball out of a toddler's nose with tweezers while scanning through the DVR.
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Cancer Crusher and Writer

Cancer Crusher and Writer
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  1. You say things like, "I don't think we could make it there by noon on Saturday. That's a little too early."

  • You like your house to be clean and organized.

  • It takes you a while to realize that when your sister said three different people needed her assistance last night, at varying intervals, covered in their own feces, she wasn't on a shift at a nursing home.

  • You believe that Pottery Barn Kid's diaper changing tables are so expensive because they actually change the baby's diaper for you.

  • You are confused to find out that you really can't take a baby into a bar.

  • You see a haggard-looking woman with two kids in their pajamas and another screaming on the curb outside the grocery store and believe that she is homeless.

  • You think a case of diapers costs less than a case of beer.

  • You are not aware that there is a chance that terms like "cervix," "mucus plug," and "hooter hider" may be part of your daily conversation.

  • You think that when you hear friends-with-kids say they "Had a blast in Disney World!", they are joking.

  • When you hear others complaining about potty-training issues with their 3-year-old, you boast how you had your dog potty-trained in three weeks.

  • You enjoy sitting down with your family and friends for a meal without screaming, crying, child-wrangling, cleaning peas out of bodily crevices or vomit.

  • You think only surgeons are capable of pulling a craft fuzzball out of a toddler's nose with tweezers while scanning through the DVR.

  • You have mailed holiday cards with your pet in an outfit on more than four occasions.

  • You occasionally park in the "Expecting Mothers" spot at the store, stuff a sweater in your shirt, and run inside to buy vodka.

  • You enjoy sleeping.

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