Parent Says: "Only one."
Toddler Hears: "You won. Take as many as you want."
Parent Says: "Hurry! We're going to be late!"
Toddler Hears: "Crawl under a table as fast as you can, take off your socks and wait until we are late!"
Parent Says: "Don't throw your food."
Toddler Hears: "Don't waste your food by letting it sit there without knowing how far it can be tossed or whether it can stick to walls."
Parent Says: "Do you want a Band-Aid?"
Toddler Hears: "Panic. It's worse than you thought. Blood is everywhere."
Parent Says: "Do you need to go potty?"
Toddler Hears: "You're such a grown-up, I bet you could go forever without going potty. Let's find out."
Parent Says: "Please be quiet."
Toddler Hears: "Please scream so everyone in the restaurant stops talking and stares at us."
Parent Says: "It's time to clean up the house."
Toddler Hears: "It's time to clean out every container in the house by dumping every container out on the floor."
Parent Says: "This is my food. Eat your own."
Toddler Hears: "Consider everything on my plate your own. But don't eat it all. Spit it out in my hand."
Parent Says: "It's too early to wake up. Go back to sleep."
Toddler Hears: "Saturdays are too wonderful to wait until the sun rises to wake up. Keep jumping on my head so there's no chance I go back to sleep."
Parent Says: "Look here. Say cheese. Smile for the camera."
Toddler Hears: "Look away! Look away! Turn around."
Parent Says: "I can't hold you right now."
Toddler Hears: "I need a big hug to remind me how to hold you. Don't let me talk you out of it."
Parent Says: "... 8, 9, 10. Ready or not, here I come."
Toddler Hears: "Jump out of your hiding spot."
Parent Says: "Mommy and Daddy are talking."
Toddler Hears: "If you are part of this family, you need to join this conversation."
Parent Says: "Sit in your chair."
Toddler Hears: "Fall out of your chair."
Parent Says: "It's bedtime."
Toddler Hears: "It's finally time to start your to-do list, including redecorating your toy box, completing a time-sensitive and labor-intensive drawing for Mommy and Daddy, reading every book in the house, taking multiple potty breaks for safety, eating just one more snack (several times), etc."
Parent Says: "I love you."
Toddler Hears: "You can do whatever you want."
This post originally appeared on www.ParentNormal.com.
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