Divorce

16 Small But Essential Things To Do For Yourself After Divorce

Tried-and-true tips from our readers.

It's normal to feel completely unsure of yourself when your world has been turned upside down by divorce. To help you navigate those first bumpy months after your separation, we asked HuffPost Divorce bloggers to share the small, everyday things that helped them feel a little more whole after divorce.

Read their best suggestions below.

1. "I let myself off the hook. Breakfast for dinner, leftovers for lunch and an extra hour in bed while the Disney channel babysat my kids. There is too much pressure on women to be everything to everyone all of the time. When you are dealing with divorce, you must let yourself off the hook a little." -- Abby King

2. "I reached out to my family. When I was married we spent most time, holidays and such, with my wife’s family. After the split, my brother-in-law Marty came up to me at one point and said, 'Now would be a good time to reconnect to your family." And I did -- and it made all the difference in the world. (Of course, scotch helped, too.)" -- Al DeLuise, blogger at Conflict And Scotch

3. "I’d set the alarm on my iPhone for 20 minutes and allow myself a 20 minute pity party. I could go back to bed for 20 minutes and cry and feel sorry for myself. But when the alarm went off, the pity was over and I had to get back to the real world again. This little trick of scheduling my sorrow helped me vent but kept the sadness from overtaking my entire day." -- Rosemond Perdue, blogger at Round and Round Rosie

4. "I kept pictures of my son close by as a reminder of why I was working so hard." -- Karin Schott

5. "I cut out negative people, pronto. You go through a roller coaster of emotions during a divorce -- you don't need anyone's dark cloud adding to your baggage." -- Laura Lifshitz, blogger at From MTV To Mommy

6. "I learned the meaning of 'pick you battles' when it came to my ex. If an issue arose concerning my son, I would engage. If it's an issue carried over from the marriage, why give it head space?" -- Karin Schott

7. "I did all the things I thought he was holding me back from doing: I got a cat (he was allergic), I stayed up way past midnight watching bad TV and I ate copious amounts of chunky peanut butter-- in bed -- with a giant serving spoon -- right out of the jar." -- Janet Bertolus, blogger at The Observer's Voice

8. "I gave myself permission to take dancing lessons... by myself. I signed up for group dancing classes so I knew they would pair me up with a woman to dance with. It was very healing for me to be brave enough to go out by myself and dancing classes were sort of like pretend dates. Best of all, these 'pretend' dates eventually gave me the confidence to go out on 'real' dates." -- Chad Stone

9. "I joined a private online divorce support group. Support 24/7 and I could say anything, no matter how horrible, and not be judged." -- Jenny Kanevsky, blogger at In Other Words

10. "I took great pleasure in buying bacon the first time I shopped for my new place. As her one concession to Jewish dietary law, my ex-wife forbid bacon in the house, even though we often ate shellfish and other forms of pork at home and out." -- Barry Gold, Divorced Over 50

11. "I took a trip alone. Even if it's just a day trip, it's proof that you can get around just fine on your own." -- Lynsey Mattingly

12. "I started getting up at the crack of dawn and going to the local flea markets on Sunday mornings. Weekends were the most difficult for me. At the flea market, I felt free to buy all the 'stupid junk' my heart desired." -- Janet Bertolus

13. "I did not pretend I was OK." -- Jenny Kanevsky

14 "I deleted all my ex’s shows from TiVo." -- Abby King

15. "I took a yoga and meditation class that taught me simply how to breathe and find peace at a time when everything felt like it was crashing down around me." -- Michela Montgomery

16. "I made friends with other people who were divorced or in the process of divorce. You don't have to leave your old friends behind post-split but there are just some things that your married friends won't understand." -- Nicole Jankowski, blogger at Mom Of 4 Is Tired

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