Artwork by AP Student Darrell Andrews
Free
When I typed the one sentence that severed my ties from eight years of questioning and doubting myself.
Exhausted
When my husband and I carried the last box into the dark drywall dust covered shell of a home.
Unsure
When I laid my head on the pillow, atop of the mattress strewn on the dusty floor.
Shaken
When I awoke to yelling voices on the street. And heard "put the knife away."
Bold
When I picked up the phone and called the police. Determined that violence would not take over the freedom I'd fought so hard for.
Stubborn
When I walked on streets, that people told me not to .
Bold
When I draped myself in my grommet covered scarf and did it over and over again, until I was no longer afraid.
Broken
When a fifth grader asked what everyone else was thinking, "What are you doing on this street?"
Scared
When I looked a drug dealer in the eye, and said good afternoon.
Relief
When I realized that I was making enough money. That my decision to leave my teaching job wasn't sending us into poverty.
Drained
When I worked six days in a row, over and over and over again.
Open
When I walked down the red brick sidewalks, in the sun, in the middle of the day.
Abundant
When we got hot water, electricity, and a kitchen. (When you don't have these things, perspective quickly changes.)
Perplexed
When I walked littered streets with children that couldn't understand why I went to work EVERYDAY.
Alive
When I was excited to get up each morning.
Torn
When I realized that I was doing too many things, and had to let something go.
Bittersweet
When I finally made the decision.
To leave the gallery.
Relief
When I finally announced that Dec. 30 would be my last day. Creating some empty blocks on my calendar.
Happy
When I sat down in my studio, looked at the clock and was shocked to see that I'd just been working for 13 hours, but loving it so much that I worked a little more.
For those of you that you are dreaming about quitting your job, or making a change in your life, this is a note to tell you that it won't be easy, that it might be scary, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it anyway.
It's also a reminder that when making big, giant, or ginormous life changes, it's good to have a plan, but you also need to know that nothing will go as planned. So pay attention, be open to change, and be kind yourself.