The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
I thought I was a homebody this whole time, but it turns out I’m a bewherethefuckiwannabe-body.
— Issa Rae (@IssaRae) March 18, 2020
Day 1 of quarantine: I'm going to take this as an opportunity to improve my health
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) March 18, 2020
Day 2 of quarantine: Due to personal reasons, I am eating a lasagna in my shower
when i pass thru the background of my boyfriend's WFH video call: pic.twitter.com/1lTaeWUejs
— Kirsten King (@KirstenKing_) March 18, 2020
Welp, turns out I don’t want to eat salad in the apocalypse either
— Ashly Perez (@itsashlyperez) March 18, 2020
[scattered applause] is the saddest closed captioning on a comedy special
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 16, 2020
me: i am gonna get so good at cooking
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 14, 2020
me, 3 days later: ah, another perfectly toasted Pop Tart
Watched hoards of L.A. people ram fully-loaded shopping carts like bumper cars in a fight to clean out a canned food aisle and thought, "I'm not singing from a fucking balcony with any of you."
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 16, 2020
Now is the perfect time to start my ideal dating relationship: occasional texts, never seeing each other, I bring “my boyfriend” up in every single conversation I have.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) March 16, 2020
me in 1 week watching a scrap of plastic blow across the street pic.twitter.com/ZvXlCIQbzy
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) March 17, 2020
in an unsettling reversal of my teenage years, I am now yelling at my parents for going out
— Brigid Delaney (@BrigidWD) March 16, 2020
working up the confidence to be someone who does an “ask me a question” story on Instagram
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) March 19, 2020
me: man it's hard to stay active an exercise while isolated at home.
— niki ang (@nicolaang) March 18, 2020
everyone: here's an online workout you can join! try this yoga video! here are exercises you can do at home!
me:...just so hard. oh well back to the couch.
oh nowwww everyone wanna know what introverts do for fun
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 13, 2020
Self-isolation on Twitter has the chaotic energy of a middle-school sleepover at about 2 30 a.m. when you can't stop laughing at the word "horse."
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 19, 2020
The downside to everyone knowing you’re home under quarantine is not having an alibi for why you’re not responding. pic.twitter.com/4B4LpmGb9F
— Francheska (@HeyFranHey) March 18, 2020
I either showered this morning or last Wednesday who’s to say? We’ll never know.
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) March 17, 2020
“Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.”
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) March 15, 2020
hear me out: reeses cup but it’s the size of an extra large pizza
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) March 19, 2020
me writing a "how i work from home" guide pic.twitter.com/2jJkplVCLj
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 18, 2020
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck
— lydia 🍃 (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020
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