So 2014 is done and buried and everyone's talking resolutions but, frankly, I'm over that notion.
Not that I don't believe in self-improvement -- I do, oh do I -- but I'd rather frame the quest for such as the pursuit of goals, not vague promises.
Of course I have tons of goals this year; one of the biggest, perhaps, is an intent to cut back on my use of the word "sorry."
This is not to say I will not apologize when it is appropriate for me to make amends, but rather that I'll stop using the word when it is absolutely stupid and self-defeating for it to come out of my mouth.
Lately I've heard myself saying that word way too much in various situations -- often of the work variety. Someone falls short on a commitment, misses a deadline or otherwise absolutely flakes on an agreement and there I am saying something like "I'm sorry, but I really need this done."
Just reading that drives home how infuriating it is (to myself) that I'd ever say utter such a phrase. It's so absolutely self-defeating and counter-intuitive.
Sorry? No, actually I'm annoyed, frustrated or even angry. The only thing I'm truly sorry about is having to deal with the situation at hand.
I know why I do it of course -- to make myself seem like less of a bitch as I try to get someone else to follow through on their job or obligation. It's what I say to soften the blow when someone else is clueless, rude or aggravating.
Well, 2015 is officially the year in which I will call bullshit on myself for saying such things because unnecessarily saying "I'm sorry" does more damage than good.
A 2014 Fast Company article explained that over-use of the word "sorry" can "undermine a woman's gravitas," thus making her "appear unfit for leadership."
It's a hard lesson to learn, of course. During my lifetime I've been conditioned to be polite, accommodating and professional. Hell, I can't really blame it on others -- I take pride in being polite, accommodating and professional on the job. I loathe blowhards, egomaniacs and those who don't play well with others.
But, slowly, I'm learning that being unapologetically assertive and professional aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.
This will be the year in which I vow to no longer care if you think I'm too bossy for asking you to follow through on an obligation or do your job correctly.
If that makes me a bitch, then so be it. I hereby declare 2015 to be the #YearOfTheBitch
Sorry not sorry? No, just plain not sorry at all.