21 Creative Euphemisms For Female Masturbation

Ménage à moi. Womansplaining. Checking the undercarriage.
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Female masturbation is great, but calling it "female masturbation"? Not always as fun.

While there are many fun and common euphemisms for male masturbation, women are often left empty-handed (so to speak). Maybe if we gave women more names for dialing their rotary phones, we'd be more inclined to talk about female masturbation in general.

Dudes have a ton of wonderfully perverse and creative names for "charming the snake" so why can't ladies get a fair share of choices? So (in the name of creative journalism) we've scoured the Internet to bring women more options when it comes to referring to their "me time." Because feminism, people.

Here are 21 awesome (and hilarious) expressions for female masturbation that any lady can use to nickname her DIY time.

  1. Ménage à moi
  2. Paddling the pink canoe.
  3. Finger painting.
  4. Visiting the safety deposit box.
  5. Dialing the rotary phone.
  6. Auditioning the finger puppets.
  7. Womansplaining yourself.
  8. Engaging in safe sex.
  9. Getting lost in the deep end.
  10. Jillin' off.
  11. DIY time.
  12. Doing a Meg Ryan.
  13. Fanning the fur.
  14. Girls' night in.
  15. Checking the undercarriage.
  16. The downstairs D.J.
  17. Buttering your muffin.
  18. Visiting the bat cave.
  19. Knitting.
  20. Diddling Miss Daisy.
  21. Playing the piano.

So, you do you ladies.

Also on HuffPost:

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