Dating and meeting new people on apps is super fun... until it’s not. (Face it: There’s only so many godawful Tinder dates a person can endure before they just give up.)
Below, 21 tweets that perfectly capture that “you have to laugh, because otherwise, you’d uncontrollably cry” feeling that goes hand-in-hand with dating.
I don't use social media or apps to date because I'm in my 30s and I prefer meeting men the old fashioned way: never.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) June 17, 2016
me on a date: my treat ! :)
— fat bully (@ricardojkay) October 5, 2017
me to the waiter: can i get the senior discount my grandmas in the car
*shows date my bathtub* This is my cry pond
— Michael, still eerie (@Home_Halfway) October 10, 2017
Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) April 10, 2017
Waiter: have you saved room for dessert?
— chuuch (@ch000ch) October 6, 2017
Me: yes
My date: no
My mom: yes
Hot Girl: Hey, u single?
— Alien Chucky (@ClichedOut) October 9, 2017
Me: I am.
HG: Cool, can I take this extra chair?
sometimes I get sad cus I'm single then I remember Rihanna is single n I get happy then I remember Rihanna is wealthy n I get sad again
— Princess Jeffery (@LilGlolita) April 30, 2016
[first date]
— Floyd is dead (@dafloydsta) October 24, 2016
HER: So do you prefer cats or dogs?
ME: *scanning the menu* I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?
[date pulls away from kissing] what do you say we take this to the bedroom
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) October 15, 2017
me: [stamps foot down] but I'm not tired
waiter: can I get you guys some more breadsticks?
— Chance Harbour (@ChanceHarbour) October 4, 2017
date: no thanks
me: [mouthful of chicken parm] bring the breadsticks Tony
The best part of still being single in my 30s is that chances are good I'm going to get to live out my fantasy of being an evil stepmother.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) May 13, 2016
[first date]
— pope phteven (@PhuckinCody) July 18, 2017
HER: i'm really into astronomy
ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don't say
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, he'll post pictures of all the ones he catches on his tinder profile
— Peter Siegler (@seterpiegler) July 5, 2017
*1st dinner date*
— The Scarenstain Bear (@LeBearGirdle) September 21, 2017
Me: waiter, can I get the bill-
Her: I love sophisticated guys
Me: I mean *coughs* waiter can I get the... william?
I don't even mind your hairline
— 🎃Cara👻 (@mamapojo) October 16, 2017
- me flirting
HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy
— Mel (@MelKassel) April 24, 2016
ME: i'm on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire
HIM: i meant like-
ME: everyone claps
date: So what do you do?
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) April 28, 2015
me: *pulls out stuffed fox* I'm a taxidermist
date: Oh wow
fox: and a ventriloquist
girl in front of me swiping tinder in class. my profile comes up, immediate swipe left. i have to drop the class right? or just transfer..
— Connor Chambers (@cjc_26) October 11, 2017
“Are you single?”
— ᎶᎥᏞᏞᎬᎽ (@TraeGilley) October 16, 2017
First of all I am, but if you’re asking, I’m not.
911 what's your emergency?
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 28, 2013
I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE.
Ma'am we don't--
IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION
A lot of being single and living alone is learning to keep the place nice "for you," and "the people who would find your body if you died."
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 30, 2016
