Ever since we humans developed intelligent thought, we've been looking for substances to make us more stupid. And while the U.S. has a long and storied history of secretly distilling blindingly strong liquor, we're not alone -- these 22 other countries all have illustrious traditions of making alcohol in containers even dirtier than bathtubs. Here are the details on the most interesting homemade alcohols from around the world, ranging from Trinidad's "mountain dew" to Iran's "alcohol dog".
Country of Origin: Canada
Fun Fact: Legend has it that this rum-esque booze got its name after a first-time drinker screamed at the taste. Whether that drinker was actually Dustin Diamond has yet to be determined by forensic pathologists.
Country of Origin: Trinidad and Tobago
Ingredients: Sugarcane, molasses, and citrus wines
Fun Fact: Also known as "mountain dew." Really. Though you can imagine their version of "mountain dew, code red" means something slightly different.
Name: Maria-louca (Crazy-Mary)
Country of Origin: Brazil
Ingredients: Sugar, uncooked rice, yeast, and whatever fruit you can steal from the prison cafeteria
Fun Fact: Mostly cooked by inmates, this concoction can earn you 30 days in solitary according to this Vice investigation, but it's apparently really delicious.
Country of Origin: Guatemala
Ingredients: Corn and fruit
Fun Fact: Shamans value it for its cleansing powers and spit it on people who need to be healed. Who subsequently need to be re-cleansed with a shower.
Country of Origin: Puerto Rico
Ingredients: Sugarcane, grapes, prunes, raisins, dates, mango, grapefruit, coconut and pineapple
Fun Fact: Pitorro can be either white wine or rum, and is often buried in the ground to cure with either fruit or savory additives like cheese or rare meat, giving it a very rare taste.
Name: Tsikoudia or Raki
Country of Origin: Greece
Ingredients: Grape skins, lemon rind, rosemary, and honey
Fun Fact: One or two very popular Greeks per village have licenses to make this liquor, which uses grapes that have fermented for six weeks. Depending on the batch, it can be kind of delicious and kind of not very delicious at all.
Country of Origin: Finland
Ingredients: Grain, sugar, and potato
Fun Fact: This triple distilled liquor is similar to vodka, but named after the French wine Pontet-Canet. Finnish travel bloggers report that the wine was popular with wealthy Finns in the 1800s, and home distillers used the name in order to make their hooch sound more high class.
Country of Origin: Ireland
Ingredients: Potato, sugar, and yeast
Fun Fact: Poitín was illegal from 1661 to 1997 and can now only be produced by two distilleries in the Republic of Ireland. It's still banned in Northern Ireland, also known as The Decidedly Less Fun Ireland.
Country of Origin: Russia
Ingredients: Sugar, beets, potatoes, and bread
Fun Fact: Rural Russians drink 4.8 times more samogon than vodka.