It's happening again.
Your friend is pushing you hard until you hit a record low with stress.
You feel powerless and even a little embarrassed.
As a friend, you should have a better handle on this, right?
But maybe you're too hard on your friend. Maybe you need to forget the bruises and forgive -- again.
Before you resign yourself to your friend's behavior, know this:
"Friends are like stars,they come and go, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow" -- Unknown.
Staying with toxic friends influences you more than you think:
"You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with." -- Jim Rohn
Here are 23 signs to help you identify toxic friends
1. They convey criticism
They lack consistency in their words. They're like snipers you don't know when they might strike, and their advice is a kick-to-the-stomach that makes you feel small and embarrassed.
2. They're smart.
They are like a single aircraft propeller. They skillfully determine which direction you move and how fast you go. If you try resisting, they fill you up with guilt until you cave in.
3. They're covetous
They feel bitter when you acquire things they don't have instead of being happy for you.
"As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion." -- Greek Philosopher
4. They discredit you
They doubt everything you say or do. They hold you in low esteem and spread lies about you. They lack faith in you and belittles your achievements.
5. They lack empathy
They don't feel your pain.
"If you can empathize with someone, it's because you have been in their place, you've walked a mile in their shoes." -- Greek Pathos
Well, don't expect that from toxic people.
6. They're untrustworthy
They disclose secrets confined to them which destroys the trust you put in them.
7. They're freeloaders
They take advantage of your generosity and give nothing in return. They can stay at your house for months or years without chipping in for groceries, or even offering a thank-you.
8. They're gossipy
They chatter behind your back and spread rumors about you. Their gossip is like a whirlwind, and it destroys your reputation in a short period.
9. They're unhappy
Low spirits mark their lives. Always dissatisfied, complaining, discontent and misery are their companions.
They offer help when it's convenient to them not to you. They only care about themselves and don't consider you. They'd probably refuse you into their boat if your's was sinking.
11. Their life is a living drama
They live in "one life" and "another world" dragging you into their exaggerated lifestyles. Describing a bad day is stretched to an abnormal level.
12. They bully
They use your emotions to attack you. Your morale gets destroyed and you end up psychologically damaged.
13. They're blabby
They talk too much. You never get a chance to put one word in a conversation. When you do, they talk about you until you shut up.
14. They're judgmental
They pass harsh and critical judgment based on their own ideas. They're not open to hearing your version of the story.
15. They're liars
They habitually lie with every intention to deceive you. They tell improbable stories which you know are far from the truth.
16. They're bigheaded
They are too stuck up to deal with and for the most part, they just talk about themselves.
17. They're stubborn
It's their way or no way. They're uncompromising and won't bend their schedule to accommodate your plans. Ajahn Sumedho nailed it when he said:
"The mind of an enlightened human being is flexible and adaptable. The mind of the ignorant person is conditioned and fixed."
18. They're fussy
They're picky and needy, annoying and hard to please. You can only make yourself scarce when they get fussy because pleasing them is not an option.
19. They're resentful
They never give up their ruthless nature. If they believe you have wronged them they won't forget until their mean-spirited wrath is launched on you.
20. They're harsh
They get involved in fights over petty arguments. They like to sow division just to agitate, they start with friendly talk, then it becomes contentious, and finally a conflict.
"You can never win an argument with a negative person they only hear what suits them and listen only to respond." -- Michael P. Watson.
21. They're inconsistent
Their commitment to the friendship is hard to predict. You get frustrated trying to understand them.It's time to remember
"Don't deal with sometime-ish people. Life is too short for inconsistency." -- Rayaleradin
22. They're pessimistic
They always believe the evil outweighs the good. And that is, bad things are likely to happen.They're always discouraged which is a downer for those near them, including you.
23. They're cheap
They lack generosity and are concerned with themselves. They grudgingly share with you when you're in need. They forget that:
"No one has ever become poor by giving." -- Anne Frank
Immunization against toxic friends
Most people lack the courage to let go.
Tackling your personal relationships will give you the confidence to achieve your dream.
Firing a toxic friend is not hard.
Realize you can only spend time with sparkling stars.
And that begins with letting go of toxic people
Now is the time to honor your authentic values and break loose.
Ann Davis is on a mission to help you find your calling with these, 11 powerful Questions
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