1) Life is a steep, uphill battle but it's fierce and it's beautiful and you'll be sad to see it go if you live it right.
2) New people won't stop coming into your life and opportunities won't stop knocking on the door but you need to have the space for them. In all you currently have -- be they relationships or obligations -- step back and ask yourself "why." If you can find the answer, hold tighter. If the answer escapes you, it's time to let something go.
3) You should resolve to be awesome for the rest of your life. Right now. Do it.
4) Leggings, no matter how much we wish, will never one day magically transform into pants. Wearing them with tops that don't cover your bum is not cute. Please, please, please stock up on pants.
5) Goals are not a January 1st kind of thing. Set them weekly. Set them monthly. Set them so that you are moving forward and always trying to progress. Life can grow stagnant without them... beware.
6) Tuna and barbeque sauce are as unlikely a couple as Sandy and Danny from Grease. However, they go together. They go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong. Don't gag at the computer, I promise I am not fooling you. Mix the two together with some brown rice and you've got a bomb.com lunch.
7) Confidence is a sexy thing. Guys dig it. Girls dig it. We all dig it.
8) I agree with Bruno Mars and, if I were a good singer, I'd serenade you alongside him in singing how I hope he buys you flowers... and holds your hands... and takes you to parties if you like to dance. You deserve that. Always. Don't think you should have less than that. You are worthy beyond words, gal.
9) And maybe Bruno Mars should be president because he's also right to say that you are amazing. Just the way you are. No frills. No big introductions. You're unlike anyone else and you should lean into that every morning. Every evening. Every hour.
9.5) Knowing your states and geography is a really precious thing. As a recovering "I didn't pay attention in Geography class and forgot my states one by one so that boys would think I was ditzy and cute, and it was, in fact, ditzy and cute until the day I made the mistake of asking everyone in Missouri how they liked living down south," I can say firsthand that it's really wonderful to know that Russia isn't on top of the U.S. and that Delaware is, in fact, a state. The moral of this bloated story: guys have never wanted us to be stupid. They actually like brain cells. It's a wonder and a mystery but they really kind of, sort of, definitely like girls with a noggin. ALL HAIL THE LADIES WHO LIKE HTML CODING AND UNDERSTAND MARXIST THEORY!! HOLLAAAA!!! WE WINNNN AFTER ALL THESE YEARSSSS!!
10) Your spirit will never benefit from shallow people. You gotz to cut the toxic out of your life, boo.
11) And if you make mean comments, and you talk about people behind their back without ever trying to love them or see where they are coming from, you MIGHT be the toxic one. Oof. I'm not trying to burn you, just trying to say that relationships are too valuable to muddy them up with what you perceive to be the shortcomings of someone else. Big girls do bigger things than that.
12) So yea, I'll drive the point home: gossip is shallow and stupid. Hobbies are better. Social good is best ;)
13) Nude pumps. They're good for the soul. They are a must-have in any serious closet. Buy a pair one day and I can promise your whole entire style statement will benefit from them.
14) Here's the truth: you are going to waste a lot of hours focusing on who you are not, or who you want to secretly be. But you won't ever wake up and actually be that person. You've got to embrace what you bring to the table. If you don't like what that is, have the courage to change it.
15) The world does not revolve around us. Turns out that we are just little points of punctuation in a much bigger story glittered with periods and commas and dashes. How are you helping that story to be better? How are you being the best dang point of punctuation that you can be?
16) If you ever find yourself frying Oreos on the stove top (and being an absolute BOSS at it), do not, I REPEAT, do not take the simmering pot of grease straight from the stove and pour it directly into the sink. The thing will straight up explode... And grease will fly everywhere... And you will risk burning your pretty little face off... And then everyone will probably call you "Vat of Grease Face" or "Grease Lightning" (what is with all the Grease references, Hannah?!) for the rest of your life... And, if they do, you can refer them to this blog post and tell them to read point #11. But still, dump the grease outside and keep your face intact.
17) If you want to run a serious business, if you want people to take you seriously, then start your engine and sign out some library books. Business books are proof that God loves us. Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg will make you a better leader. Seth Godin is the dude you wanted to take the prom all these years and never knew it until you cracked open his book Tribes.
18) No matter how tech savvy we get, there is a need to say things to a person's face. Please, for the love of lovelier things, have the courage to call someone up and verbalize your thoughts or meet for a coffee. Breaking a heart is hard stuff, stopping a relationship is never fun, but there will never be anything as loud as this statement: You are worth my words. You are worth my presence. You are worth, and will always be worth, more than just letters on a screen and a broken heart jammed in the crooks of an overflowing inbox. Face to face connections are fading faster, please don't let them get away...
19) First impressions are important. Really. That truth never changes. So refer to point #4. Really meditate on it.
20) No matter what kind of interview you are gearing up for, there are certain standards you should always hold yourself to: wearing something other than jeans, not talking out your phone during the interview, sending a handwritten note afterwards. An interview means you want something but it doesn't mean they have to give it to you.
21) Regret is a real thing. It's going to happen. It's going to come clomp-clomp-clomping into your life at some point. Don't hold onto things forever but learn from them and let the past go. The past will be a dictator if you let her.
22) You never want to be the COTS (chick on the side). Girls, GIRLS!!!! IF A GUY HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND HE IS STILL TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU IN A "YOU ARE THE ONE THAT I WANT" WAY, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. HE SHOULD MAN UP AND ACTUALLY LET THE OTHER GIRL GO. IF HE DOES NOT THEN WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY. You are worth so much more than second string in relationships. And being a COTS is not an endearing title. Be the better lady and hop off his swag; you are breaking the heart of girl you don't even know without ever really meaning to. (And truthfully: real men aren't interested in finding another gal, they're too wrapped up in loving the face off the one they already have.)
23) The women's section of Old Navy and Target has failed us. If you ever really want to fully embrace to "oversize" look then just frolic over the men's section. All those flannels you've been tugging at, wishing they would actually be "oversize," are hanging out in the men's section waiting to kiss your elbows with their flannelish lips. Roll up the sleeves and get going. And then wear them leggings having no shame at all!
24) Facebook is a tricky thing. This is an invitation to step back and ask yourself, should I really post that? In the days of diaries, we never had to worry about this. Now all that we say is a microphone so be very, very careful. Here's a link to all the best quotes from Maya Angelou. The next time you feel like posting something really ugly that you are going to regret, take a stab at one of these instead.
25) Darling, darling -- the victim song is never going to fit you. It will never be good enough for your lungs. It will never be good enough for your time. You are stronger than you know and more graceful than you know. Don't let the parts of you that want to be a victim live on any longer. You've got a voice... you've got a story... Do us all a favor and use it. Without any apologies. Without any stepping back. If ever you need a listener, come find me...
This post originally appeared on hannahbrencher.com.
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