"Are you seeing anyone yet? Oh! You're still single. I don't know what I would do if I were single these days. Put yourself out there, try one date a month. You're too good of a person to be single"
The above statements are just a few I hear on a pretty regular basis. The look on people's face when I say I am single is almost that of disappointment at times. A look of pity, confusion, and curiosity.
In my group of college girlfriends I'm the single one. Out of many of my coworkers I'm one of the few single ones. My best friends from back home, the single one. I almost feel like I should add it to my Linkedin profile since it seems to be such a big defining factor these days.
I'm one of those hopeless romantic types who loves the idea of love. Cute date nights, flowers for no reason, taking a walk on a nice day, etc. I love all of it! Nothing makes me happier than seeing the people I care about the most share life with their special someone. I think it's a beautiful thing.
Now, that being said the single friend title in a world where Facebook and Instagram are full of pretty rings ,I said yes status' and Pinterest wedding pin after pin; you might start to second guess and question your own life just a little bit.
What am I doing wrong? Why haven't I found my person yet? It's never going to happen. 26 and single..what's wrong with me?
Constantly beating yourself up that at 26 you haven't managed to settle down with anyone. Putting yourself out there and going on a date a month is a lot easier said than done by the way. Especially in this city.
There seems to be a lot of pressure these days to hurry and settle down. The idea that one who is unmarried and childless in their twenties is absurd, right? The idea of being 26 and single is ridiculous. Then reality hits and you remember that it's your twenties, you're single and doing just fine.
You have all the time in the world to meet that special someone and share a beautiful lifetime together.
If there is anything being the single friend has taught me it is to invest all of the time you can into yourself. Would I love to have that special companion? Of course I would who wouldn't, but until it happens I try really hard to focus my energy into myself and my future.
I'll be honest I have days when I get really down on myself and pick apart every reason no one has "chosen" me yet. It is the wrong mindset to have though!
I haven't chosen anyone yet, because I know I want the best for myself. I know that I will never settle just for the title "in a relationship." I know that if I do settle for the sake of saying I'm not single I will regret it.
I have to remind myself that I have my bachelor's degree, finishing up a Masters degree, writing for amazing platforms, and slowly but surely making my mark on the world. All things that are very important and mean a ton to me. I may be single, but I'm doing well for myself!
The next time you ask if I'm seeing someone and I say no please don't discredit my success in every other area of my life. Being in a relationship does not define who I am as an individual. Know that the constant questions to singles can do more damage than good. Celebrate what they are doing well and reassure them they are doing just fine, and the wait is worth it. Waiting for the right person is always worth it.
To any other singles, in your twenties or not, know that you are doing nothing wrong. There is no secret code to dating and being in a relationship. I am a true believer in timing and everything happening when it should. Stop comparing yourself to your friends on social media it isn't healthy. Don't let the constant questions about your love life get into your head.
Be proud of your accomplishments and where you are in life. The right person will come around when they are meant to. Until then, keep pushing forward and doing great things.