Working with so many mamapreneurs, it is inevitable that one of the most popular topics of discussion is how to stop feeling so dang frazzled! How can you get out of the 'autopilot' of task after task, checking your day off a list (and at the end of the day, never actually living at all)?!
It's crazy how responsibilities can pile up. Good, valid causes, important things, but not necessarily the right things for you (or at least not in the right quantity or at the right time).
The thing is, you don't have to live that way. When it gets down to it, there are a lot of things you can let go of when it's important enough to you. But, if you don't take the time to determine what's the most important to you? Well, then your time will likely fill itself up, and it won't be with what you would choose if you were being intentional about it.
In reality, you always have the opportunity to create the life you crave or... let your life create itself. If you want to be experiencing something different, you have to choose that, take accountability for your life and the experience you're having and consciously choose something different. It doesn't just happen on accident (unfortunately)!
After all, you can't keep doing the same things and expect to get different results!
Here are three magical things you can do to get out of the 'doing' cycle (and into living on purpose)!
1. Get clear on what matters to you. Dig deep into the 'clues' that you have- what you have enjoyed in the past, what you are attracted to/curious about, what helps you feel connected to your family and community, how you can be a contributor to the betterment of the world and what make you feel truly alive in your life and in your body? These are the things that will bring you the most joy, and should be prioritized above all else.
Now, I'm not saying ditch all of your responsibilities to live a life with no accountability- but I am saying you may find that some of what you think of as 'non-negotiables' actually need to be renegotiated- your job may not align, friendships may not fit, and your financial obligations may shift as you explore what you really want (as opposed to what you've been told to want).
Let your desires lead the way as you expand what feels possible in your life. Dream big! And allow anything and everything that feels important to be brought to the table, whether or not it feels 'practical.'
2. Block out time for the things that matter most to you. Before you plan the rest of your year, book out your vacation time, set a schedule for when you are having family time, allow time to take a getaway yourself, whatever it is that you would like to have more time to do.
If it is something more regular, like reading or daily self-care, add it into your weekly routine. If you don't already have one, create one. It is the only way to be truly intentional about your time. I'm not saying every hour has to be filled with a 'to do'- in fact, the time you are probably most needing is more time 'to be.' As silly as it may sound, schedule this in- make it a priority to have time to take care of yourself, connect with your family and friends, and live your life! Account for all of your time and 'spend it' wisely on the things that matter most to you.
And then (this part is important), hold to it! This time is set aside because it is the way you would like to be living. Barring tragedies or major illnesses, protect this time!
Don't let others talk you into compromising your plans to do something that you don't really want to do (or don't want to do as much as what you were planning). You have every right to make decisions for yourself and your family that others may not agree with. At the end of the day, you are accountable for your own happiness so don't let others guilt you out of claiming and enjoying every minute of it!
3. Declutter the rest! As I mentioned previously, once you get clear on what you want more of in your life, it becomes clear what doesn't serve you. Declutter your schedule, your stuff, your emotions, your inner monologue, your relationships... all of it!
In feng shui, it is believed that all of the things you own have an unseen 'thread' that tie them to you. When you release these 'things', these parts are called back to you and you are left feeling more complete.
With this in mind, it is true that the more 'things' you own, the more you will likely be preoccupied and divided- focused on the past, on maintaining 'stuff', or on acquiring more. When you start to release your grip on stuff, you start to feel how energizing it really is. Less cleaning, less fuss, more space for the good stuff.
Again, I'm not necessarily recommending that everybody sell everything they own. In fact, you may find that certain items feel energizing and bring you closer to who and how you want to show up in the world, but just don't take it for granted. Don't let 'stuff' hold you back from your next exciting adventure!
This is true for not only 'stuff', but also all of the other tasks, responsibilities and beliefs that buzz through our minds each day, filling space that could be used for manifesting the life you (really) crave. Allowing 'white space' in your mind, home, and thought processes provides you with the foundation to better relax, dream and make intentional choices about what comes next. Do what you can to start to clear away anything that is holding you back from being present to your life and truly enjoying yourself right now.
When you are intentional about who you spend your time with, how you spend it, and who you are being throughout it all, you are able to create the life you crave and not get bogged down with living life from a check-list.
After all, we are human beings, not human doings.
Take time to be- with yourself, with your family, with your passions, with nature, with joy. Breathe. And let the magic of the universe do the rest.