My work with couples as a relationship and communication expert consistently shows that effective communication is at the heart of every happy relationship.
However, an often-overlooked secret to effective communication lies in the fact that partners rarely ask each other the right questions.
“What do you mean by the “right” questions?” you might be asking yourself.
Great question! (pun intended)
What I mean by the “right” questions are questions that show you are concerned and interested to hear – and try to understand - what your partner feels and thinks.
The “right” questions give your partner the opportunity to truly open up their heart and soul to you – especially when you disagree with each other or have differing points of view.
3 “Right” Questions You Must Ask
Following are 3 “right” questions you should ask your partner that will dramatically increase the happiness and emotional intimacy of your relationship.
1. Can you please help me understand?
Asking this question will allow you and your partner to begin to come to terms with any differences you may be experiencing.
This question doesn't try to change your partner’s mind or suggest you are unhappy with them. It merely implies an open and honest attempt to truly learn what your partner is thinking and/or feeling when you are holding differing views/opinions.
One of the main things couples want from each other is to be heard and understood.
The ability to take the time to understand where your partner is coming from will help keep the relationship on solid ground – even when you are at odds with each other.
2. Is there anything I can do for you?
This question lets your partner know that you are thinking about them.
This might sound like a trivial matter; however, knowing your partner is actively thinking about you – and what you might want or need to get done – in spite of how busy you are, speaks volumes for your relationship.
The fact that you are showing consideration for your partner’s needs and desire will keep your relationship strong.
3. Can I give you my opinion?
Sometimes our partner is struggling with an issue and they really don’t want our opinion on how to solve it. They may just want to vent.
Other times our partner will welcome our opinion.
It’s so important to ask this question because it shows we are listening to our partner’s struggle. We are willing to play whatever role they need for us to take on at that very moment.
Our partner might want us to be a silent supporter or an active problem solver. Asking this question allows our partner to tell us what they need, so we can act accordingly.
Effective communication is at the heart of every happy relationship. Asking the 3 key questions stated above is one of the most forgotten aspects of effective communication.
Ask these questions and watch romance and happiness increase in your relationship!
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