Letting go of stories that hurt us, however true they may feel, is always the best gift we can give ourselves. This has been the hardest and most valuable lesson I have learned in life. It is one I continue to practice and grow from.
Life becomes easier to navigate when we make a conscious effort to 'not attach' to our stories with reckless abandon. When we allow our stories and hurts to flow through us without taking hold, we make room for something new and different to transpire. In the very least, we get off the hamster wheel of hurt.
Letting go can be easier said than done when facing difficult situations, people or triggers in our life. It is often the most challenging circumstances that give us the best opportunity to try this learning on. It is the deepest wounds that present us with the opening to experience the greatest amount of relief and peace, on the other side.
Each time we choose to not become a hostage to our painful stories, it becomes a little easier to release them the next time. Eventually with practice, we can notice ourselves in a story before it ever takes hold of our spirit. We can let go with ease and grace.
Here are 3 practices I use to help me let go of stories that hurt and instead make room for peace in my life. If they resonate, give them a try and see what shifts for you.
1) Breathe Grace and Ease Into Your Hurt
We can use our breath to create space and a feeling of calm in our physical being. We can also use our breath to connect inwards to our spirit and truth. Accessing our breath as a helpful tool is something we can do anywhere at any time -- deep conscious breathing is powerful.
Often a few deliberate calming breaths is exactly what we need to hit the pause button and make room to check in and reset.
It can be helpful to ask yourself powerful questions to access the flow of grace and ease in your breathing and being. Here are a few options:
- What would it feel like to allow more grace in this situation? Breathe into that question and give yourself enough space to hear the soft whisper that will come.
- How can I be gentle here with myself and with others who may be included in my story? Breathe love and kindness into your being and out towards others you feel have hurt you.
- What might happen when I breathe ease into the hurt, and exhale the need to attach? Allow your breath to flow with curiosity and without attaching to an outcome or story of what is to come next. Just allow yourself to be fully present as you breathe.
2) Be the Writer of Your Story
It is easy to forget we have a say in what we think, how we feel and how we act. We can remind ourselves life isn't happening to us, but rather we receive life and write our story from our unique perspective. When we see ourselves as the writers we are, we gain a sense of hope there is a lighter, more enjoyable route we may consider walking.
Recognizing that other people can't disempower us and hurt us without our permission is a shift worth making. Sure we may still be triggered by others and lessons will be presented to practice standing in our power. But we can notice how much easier it is when we understand we are in ultimate control of how we feel. We can experience our stories and the people in them in a different light when we see ourselves as writers.
We can write stories that are gentler to ourselves. We can write our stories to feel more compassion for others. We can see others' choices as being their own, and we can accept people as they are. Our only business is how we choose to think, feel and be. We all have been given creative license to write stories that will lead us to love and away from lingering pain.
3) Forgiveness is Key
The simplest way to let go of something is to forgive. Yet somehow this simple shift can be the most challenging one to make. It is by not forgiving that we continue to hold on to our hurt.
On this bumpy journey of life, we will all find ourselves in places where we need to forgive ourselves, other people on our travels, or circumstances in our lives. The bumps become much smoother to travel through when we make the choice to truly forgive.
When we forgive, the hurt and fight from holding on can finally melt away.
How might you give yourself the gift of forgiveness and being the story writer who allows more grace and ease in your daily travels?
Emily Madill is the author of 11 books in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. Her newest title 'Fall in Love with Your Life, One Week at a Time' is now being offered as an E-Course.
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